THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, just wanted your opinion on this girl Jennifer Lawrence. She’s an actress with a few good movies under her belt. I just cannot decide whether she is hot or not. I honestly would’ve never given her a second glance before she wore that red Calvin Klein dress to the 2011 oscars, but damn she looked hot in it. She also has some pretty nice eyes. Other times though her face looks really fat and she reminds me a gerber baby. I know you probably wouldn’t, but I gotta ask anyways, would you? and what do you think she needs to get done to reach greatness? Thanks Nik, love your site!

Honestly, if she lost 12 pounds (baby and arm fat) she wouldn’t be bad looking.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I went to the Superbowl and had field level endzone tickets. I got some funny ass pictures, while some of the performers were waiting around.  Here is the all time classic, you should have seen these guys jerking around back here.

Tebow would have beat the Giants.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik I need the help of the Dirty Army. My very good friend was involved in a serious accident on Saturday morning around 3am. She was driving home from work when an SUV ran a red light and T-boned her car (passenger side) and pushed her car onto the light rail tracks on the intersection of 16th St and Jefferson. He got out of car and RAN ON FOOT. The f*cking coward ran, Nik. Thank God there were bystanders who saw it all happen and pulled my friend out of the car, which is totaled. Her car is in such bad shape, the men who helped her had to pry off the driver side door and carry her to the curb because she was too hysterical and in so much pain she couldn’t move. Anyway, I want this coward found. His name is Jaime Torres (pronounced Hi-Me). He was driving his girlfriend’s car, I can’t remember her name. He does not have a valid driver’s license and he may be an illegal immigrant. I’m so beyond pissed that this coward did not stay and face this situation like a man. My friend did not deserve this. She is one of the smartest, humble, most beautiful girls that I know and I am proud to call her my sister. She’s a perfect driver and this is in no way her fault. DIRTY ARMY FIND JAMIE TORRES!! Help the police track this coward down and send him back over the border. Please spread this around Nik, my friend deserves justice. I don’t have any more information about Jamie Torres, I’m just hoping someone knows him or also witnessed this accident and can help police track him down. Thanks Nik.

What’s the girlfriends name? She will lead you to the promise land (love is pain).- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, these are the jeans that I’m trying to fit back into. The first two weeks that I was on Cellan I changed my diet (water only, no fast food, no alcohol) and lost 5 pounds. I just started working out and you might not be able to tell but my stomach is definitely getting toning up, I just have to lose that stupid tire around my waist lol. The red top is my beginning picture. Congrats on your precious baby!

Keep going! Your body type should lose at least 40 pounds… My buddy Clipps Fan has a similar body to yours and he has lost 18 pounds in 20 days.- nik

If you want to lose weight the lazy way like me or turn into a hot chick= CLICK HERE

**Click here to see my results and others successful weight loss.

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, check out Lawyer Mike’s newest video! I love it! I don’t know how come this guy is not signed to a major label.. He has got it all, from the appearance, to the swag, to the HITS.  What you think about this one Nik, he even has his daughter on the track.

Where can I buy his CD?- nik

ALSO SEE:  Lawyer Mike’s Greatest Hits

Lawyer Mike Decides To Do A Love Song

Lawyer Mike Has Nothing But Hits

Lawyer Mike Is Pissed Off

Lawyer Mike Drops Another Hit

Lawyer Mike Is My Inspiration

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this is Celina.  She is a dirty sk*nk who cocktails at Privados.  She thinks shes a gogo at Privados.  All she does is shake her ass for tables. I went with my boyfriend and got a table.  She was are waitress and all she did was dance for us and drink from our bottle.  She danced on guys at other tables.  My friend is her friend on facebook and I saw these pictures. It’s funny she thinks she can model.  She is not even cute… what the hell is happening to Dallas.

Dallas is going downhill. It’s becoming a dead city.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I’m die hard Dirty Army and a huge supporter of your site and all you do.  I work in the admission office here at Chapman University and what I just saw I had to share with you.  So the one and only Miley Cyrus will be attending our great school, I checked the birthdays and they matched.  So unless there is another Miley Cyrus running around SoCal with the exact same name and birthday I’m positive I will be seeing her on campus.

Awesome!  Miley why don’t you come with us to Cancun for Spring Break now that you are a college co-ed, you have nothing else better to do.-  nik 

**If you want to drink underage and have black out drunk sex (doesn’t count) while swimming in the clearest water Mexico has to offer… come with ME in Cancun for Spring Break. CLICK HERE

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this girl here named Lisa is a man stealing h*e! Every weekend you can find her at the club grinding up on whatever guy is throwing around the most cash even if he has a woman!!! She will not stop texting and calling my man trying to get him to come over and sleep with her!!!! DISGUSTING!! Get your own man!!!! or better yet, get a clue!

I really believe if you have +2′s let them breathe… there is no reason for a bra.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, after what happened to me last night for the 7th time in the past 6 month… I have a theory and want to ask you what you think.  So I’m a good looking mid 20′s guy, I have no problem hooking up with chicks, especially all the 6′s and 7′s in Newport and Huntington Beach.  Its easy, and I’m single so why not right?  So in the past 6 or so months, I’ve slept with exactly 7 girls that have this mustache tattoo’d on their finger and they have all done the exact same thing to me in the bed…. and that is lick my asshole.  Every single one has done this too me. I had a huge problem the first time when the girl asked me and I was not down, but after a bunch of pepsi and getting bored… I was like f*ck it, if she wants to like my ass go for it.  I thought it was a little weird since no girl has asked me before.  So several weeks later, I’m banging another chick.. she is sucking my Greg and then all the sudden just goes to town on my ass… not till the 6th chick did I realize… they all have 1 thing in common… The damn mustache tattoo.  So finally I’m aware of it, last night this girl walks up to me and we start talking, taking shots and then she says something funny and puts up her finger and it hit me… this girl like to eat ass.  So I let her know my theory on it and she says… I guess you will find out tonight.  Well same damn tattoo and same result, her tongue all over my ass.   I wanted to ask the Dirty Army and you.. is this like some secret society that I have not been aware of?

Bro, are you from the Ice Age? Everyone knows what that tattoo stands for. That mustache is code for “I lick starfish, male or female.”. The whole cult started as an inside Lesbian thing back in the day.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Alex Fofanna, who is no stranger to TheDirty, mouthing off about how his daddy is going to sue your website and go after the person who put him up here. He claims that his post on your website will put his future college and job opportunities at risk. I’d like to first point out that Alex Fofanna is extremely immature and a drug user which will come out whether or not they look on your website. Regardless, I don’t think his future will be too bright. He is absolutely someone who deserved to be posted anyways. But I have to ask, do you think his daddy from Reno’s lawyer is actually going to put through a viable law suit to your website? Or do you think, like I do, that he just wants the attention, like always, so he’s just bitching with his little friends about getting your entire site taken down? I mean, let’s be real, if Dr. Phil couldn’t do anything, this Reno kid surely won’t be able to. Also, is it even possible for someone to take out a lawsuit against the individual who posted something on this site?

Alex, why doesn’t your dad sue the kid from Reno… better yet why don’t you be a man instead of letting your father fight your battles.- nik