THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this former UCLA cheerleader Robin has been slooting it up first all over campus at UCLA, now she’s taking down the whole city of San Francisco. SF boy’s go ahead and have a ride and taste the Robin bird… but you might not like what you take home with you the next day all alone… she’s a walking, talking DRD.

Those are some fat cheeks.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, here is Anna Mason, newly crowned “Miss San Diego”. Do you think she is what best represents a beauty queen. She’s quite scandalous, parties till the sunrise, drinks, clings on to rich old men, has people pay for her sh*t, and lives a second life than she tells when shes competing, has a million headshots and photographs like shes a model. My question is pick out her flaws, tell me if you think she is beautiful. Do you think San Diego can do better than this? Would love to know what you think.

I think Miss San Diego should be disqualified. I can see the entire shape of her breasts which I believe is against the rules.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, so I wanted to show you this girl that I’ve been noticing lately around Orange County. She goes by the name of Tessa Elizabeth. She’s currently living in Orange County and has been working at those Vietnamese Coffee Houses where the waitresses dress in lingerie and bikinis. She also did some modeling for Import Turner, BDazzled Swim Wear, and other lingerie lines. Word is although she acts like a h*e by working at coffee houses, she actually is nice and not stuck up. Also, based on her photos she hangs out with only Asians. She’s currently dating a dancer by the name of Dumbo who’s from Poreotics, the dance crew that won in the last season of America’s Best Dance Crew. By the age of 21, she’s worked at least 4 different Vietnamese coffee shops, has had breast implants, and buys shoes that are worth $900 a pair. Oh yeah, she isn’t a natural blonde but I am sure you would like her better as a blonde anyway. So, would you with this false blondie and if not give me at least two reasons why. Thanks!

Answer: No, she smells like noodles by default.

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Molly. I think she is BEAUTIFUL. Absolutely stunning and you are so picky I have to know, what you think about her exactly, and no disrespect to Shayne.  But would you with Molly?

Answer: No, I don’t do drugs or real breasts past a C-cup.

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I just attended UCLA to hear Ron Paul speak. The crowd was so big they could not even fit everyone in the stadium. It was like being at a rock n roll concert. This guy is a Rock Star.

This is a waste of time for Ron Paul. Out of all the kids attending this I bet 2% of them will actually vote.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this guy Kyle Opperman is a piece of work. He is on probation, went to jail for hitting a minor girl he was banging and now hes out and about. He works at Mcalans Pub in Rancho and is a dangerous man. Basically he is a meathead, with no good intentions. He has cheated on all of his girlfriends with trannies and was actually involved with Sonique Kyle from ru paul drag race who had a scare of having aids. He got checked up cuz he was freaking out and left her. He is clean, But he keeps dating nice good girls to cover up that he actually likes trannies sex and that he has on occasion been with men.  He has no money and works as a security and never pays for his own drinks. He has many issues with steroids and drugs and gets violent easily. Its okay to have different tastes , and sexual orientation, but not cool to hide it and fool around unprotected with different gender girls and transexual girls. He has family issues and alcohol and drug abuse. His last girlfriend caught him cheating with another tranny but she needs to realize he is the one to blame. Also he has bad depressions and mood swings and is very paranoid of anyone finding out that he likes to suck d*ck. He frequents places like toro sushi, heat lounge and gay bars cruising for drag queens and trannies but he is terrified that any of his friends would know. Im not saying that dating people that are different is bad , but to be shady about it and lie and cheat on normal girls like that is inexcusable.He was dating a beautiful transexual model named Bianca who he abused , used her money and cheated on. Also he has roid rage and girls have to be careful with him . Besides his aids scare he has other health issues and very possibly an std. Just be careful with this guy , he lies, cheats, manipulates and is violent.

Is that pubic hair on his chest?- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik This guy Michael Hovhanessian losses all his friends because he hooks up with all his friends girl friends. He has no respect for anyone or anything he thinks hes a pimp. Nik we must put this guy on blast.

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this guy, Jonathan Zielke, has over 3,000 FB friends, comes home for the “holidays”, F’s everything from his high school, to the trash at his former telemarketing work, even people in relwtions with 2 kids… kid is a lost frat sloot!! even though his dad is a prominent white male at a local prestigious catholic school, and he thinks he is a pre-law student..UCLA has no pre-law BA.

Looks like he is into one flavor.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, one of my friends had Lana as a r/mate during freshmen year at UCLA. -Lana, why don’t you tell everyone what you did? Lana stole most of her r/mates term papers and completed assignments to the point that my friend had to report it directly to the school administration and had to sent in photos as proof. Of course, she was dropped! Thank God. What makes this more ridiculous is that this girl has been lying for years that she graduated from UCLA with a sociology degree without a doubt everyone knew she was going to deny it all! She’s tells all her employers that she graduated with a bachelor degree in UCLA, including to her own relatives. She denies she worked at Hooters. It’s pretty sad that she works two jobs now, lives with her parents for free and still can’t get by, financially. Unfortunately, she’s 25 years old still crying over an ex (Jesse) for more than seven years. Her ex is a high school dropout so you see where the influence comes from.

Come on, I know you can make a better greg face then that…its your living.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Crystal, she is a cheerleader at UCLA. She thinks shes hot sh*t and admittedly she was. But in January her boyfriend was deployed to Afghanistan, and as soon as he left, she was on top of every guy on campus. Her legs were not, and are still not shut. When he comes back at the beginning of December I hope he finds EVERYTHING out. Watch out for this dirtbag when your around UCLA anytime soon.

I hope the internet is not invented yet in Afghanistan.- nik