THE DIRTY ARMY: Chris Ogle broke up with me, I told him he was dumb anyways, I would never sleep with him anyways. Would you Nik?

Answer: No, I’m married…to a girl.

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, This is a girl I went to high school with and I think she is gorgeous, and so does every guy and girl I go to school with at U of L. I just want to know…would you?

Answer: No, she barely made the Hooters roster, 2.35577 (mainly due to the padded bra).

THE DIRTY ARMY: Ok Nik, I don’t have any crucial diehard information about anyone at the moment. However I too have come asking for advice. I went to college in a small school in Lexington Kentucky, and currently work in Cincinnati. I work in the hotel business and can’t help but think that some one with my credentials in this business would be so much better off outside of Cincinnati and somewhere.. well else.  This somewhere else is the great mystery in my life at the moment. I am 24, 100% single, and have nothing keeping me here other then a lease on a house that expires in June. With that said I am tired of the mid-west but don’t want to start over again.  I want to stay in the hotel business but looking online all I can find in the service and hospitality industry is ads for strippers dancers and portapotties. I want to get out of this area and head west looking for bigger and better things.  Where do you suggest for good jobs in the service / hospitality industry. Im currently working for the #1 hotel in my brand, I know for a fact that you know a lot of people and you were the most connected person I could think of. Any tips, tricks, names or phone numbers that you could give me to help me get out of this dismal land of girls in need of cellan and +2′s? I want a place where I can work, and party hard without having to worry about there being literally a handful of girls who are worth my while. Is Scottsdale a good bet? LA? Vegas? Or somewhere else entirely.

Move to Scottsdale.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, my beloved Hoosiers knocked off UK last weekend and then I have to come online to read this story about some busted “Playboy” model who was injured when “idiot” fans rushed the court. At first I felt bad for her because I thought they had stepped on her face, turns out, it was just her ankle and she’s always looked like that.

Let me guess… she is suing the school for millions?- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, Miss Kentucky holding a teddy bear.  For some reason I find this funny as F*ck.. obviously she knows how to hold a Greg, I have to ask you… Would You?

Answer: No, I am not a fan of her reach-around.

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Allie Halley. And no. That is NOT her real name. She doesn’t know who her dad is. I go to school with her and unfortunately was her best friend for quite some time. She is sneaky and conniving. She roams around Kentucky trying to sleep with everyone. Her chin is indented. It looks like a toilet. She thinks she is the hottest thing around town. She runs around bragging that she had an eating disorder but now in Kentucky she has put on a good 30-40 pounds. This girl is the definition of white trash. What do you think?? She also tries to sleep with Carolines boyfriend, her best friend. She has slept with a MINIMUM of 20 guys here. GET HER TO LEAVE!! her own sorority hates her.

What British chick doesn’t look like a horse, there’s really no shocker there.- nik 

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, DA Strong! This is Heather. From Pippa Passes Ky. Met this sloot around 2 years ago. Slowly started being around the same social circle about 2 weeks of that and it’s all it took. I won’t lie at first the +2′s got my attention and kept my interest for about 3 months until I found out this girl was sleeping with anyone who had medication that started with the word “oxy”. Anyways, the past couple month’s I have noticed how all these guys seem to think she is the most beautiful creature on the planet. She is dirt, she’s slept with numerous of her mother’s boyfriends as well as Professors at her “Christian” college. Nik, bring this girl down to size, she has at least 5 different porno’s circulating from drug dealer’s who keep her nose dirty. By the way, she claims she is sober now I guess she means sober from everything thing besides xanax and roxicodone.

I wonder if she goes to a Pharmacy school?- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, LeBron is in Lexington practicing with UK basketball team; he either really likes his UK shirt, he saw someone he liked across the room, it was still early in the morning, or he heard he was going to be on TheDirty.com.

I am pretty confident that the baby is not his.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this is Ashley Sky, a model.  Her boobs are REAL and she has the perfect body and face. I think she’s already signed with Elite, and although I think she’s gorgeous, what do you think? Would you?

Answer: Already been there… the face is more manly in person.

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, ok man. This girls name is Amber Duncan. She dated my good friend for over 4 years. Hes a good guy served his time in Iraq, but anyways They was all lovey dovey and all that b s. So randomly 1 day they broke up, and he told me she had no reason to up and split. And she was sk*nking it up the very same week with our very close friends like a couple days after the fact. I cant stand the b*tch and when we had class together she would try to get with me. She has no education, conversation, dedication, motivation and best of all no occupation. so WOULD YOU? and WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HER.

I think she the only time she should hold up those flabby arms of hers is when she’s working out, which she doesn’t do…- nik