THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I am a huge fan of The Dirty and I watched you on Couples Therapy… I’ve also pre-ordered your book. Couples Therapy made me truly believe in love again and made me realize the person that I want to be with. Me and my boyfriend broke up in September unfortunately, but have since been trying to work things out. Watching you and Shayne gave me hope. The guy I feel has given up on me, but I am still holding on with every last bit that I have. I know this is real, and I’m not ready to give up yet. It is my fault that we are where we are today, and I’m trying to fix things, but starting to feel like it is too late. Any tips to help me win him back over? I have been struggling with depression the past year, and he’s the only one I’ve told. My depression stems from the guy who I knew as my dad for 24 years. He has been strung out on drugs, and I have not seen or spoken to him in 2 years. Its really putting me in a tough spot because I can’t be a good girlfriend while stuck in this sadness. I feel as if my whole identity has been taken away from me. I’m struggling through school, working 2 jobs as hard as I can, barely getting by, and have no one to lean on. I really hope that you respond to this because I have no one to talk to. I don’t want to put this extra stress on my mom, because she has a lot on her plate as well; I have two younger brothers. I’m in tears as I write this because I feel as if this is my last hope. My ex has severe trust issues because his mom lied to him for 18 years about who his father was. I took everyday with a grain of salt knowing that, because I know how hurt he was by it. We leaned on each other for support, and now I have no one. I went out with my roommate one night, and didn’t tell him, and that’s when it started to spiral out of control. I just want to fix things, because I know this is exactly where I need to be. What should I do Nik?
Why do you need to lean? Life is very simple, when a person loves themselves first and is 100% sold on themselves the law of attraction will take its course. My dominance comes from my confidence in knowing who I am. The world can crash around me in terms of friends, family and business but my inner confidence will always get me through life with a smile. If you blame others for your issues you are going to attract others who do the same (boyfriend blaming mother). On the flip side people want what they don’t have and the easiest way for that to happen is to surround yourself with a person who has it. So my advice to you is to lean on yourself and ask yourself who you want to be? And whoever that is: BE IT! This isn’t about relationships, this is about you. If you shift your boyfriend will come crawling back because he will want that new glow you have and it will be up to you if you want the Blamer back.- nik