11.19.09

Hooters Girl Turned Softcore Porn

Hooters girl turned softcore porn

Hooters girl turned softcore porn

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this girl Jenna from Scotland LOVES the purple crayon. She works at Hooters and is covered in hideous fairy tattoos. She’s not cute AT ALL, especially with the bleached hair. She went to my high school and a mere 2 years later is found online on a bi/gay porn website. Her “stage name’ is Chloe. Not only is she having sex for money, but she’s doing it with gays. Come on.. I’m surprised her dad hasn’t seen since he’s always creepin on her facebook. Pretty sure she goes to UCF, if not then some crappy community college.

She has terrible armpits and Scottish teeth for sure.  Stick to porn because I wouldn’t want you selling me wings.  Hooters bust.- nik


Nik Richie

10.24.09

Introducing The “FunGays”

let me introduce you to THE FUNBOYS

let me introduce you to THE FUNBOYS

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, let me introduce you to the FUNBOYS as they like to call themselves i think they need to change their names to HEARTBREAKERS. This group of douche are always running around either in Vegas or somewhere in Fort Lauderdale surrounded by different h*es every night. One of them recently broke my heart, they love to use the “i’m not ready to be in a relationship line”. I think they are all gay. What do you think about this group? Forgy Or Not?

The FunGays love each other… I am guessing the one in the black hat is in charge of the needles.- nik


Nik Richie

10.08.09

Always Pregnant, Never a Mother

Always Pregnan, Never a Mother

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, all you’re gonna get from this girl is some Becky, a pregnancy scare and an STD…trust me, this is one bumpy road you do NOT wanna go down (on)!!She threw my cell phone down a flight of stairs, faked being prego and then stalked me AND my friends for a month. After getting tested, I know I’ll never be able to forget this girl..she definitely left her mark.

She has a fat face, so I don’t understand why anyone would sleep with her in the first place.- nik


Nik Richie

10.06.09

Horse Lover

Horse Lover

Horse Lover

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this girl is writing a book to, and I quote, “Help girls not be so desperate for a relationship.” I think it’s an autobiography.

Typical Ginger.- nik


Nik Richie

09.22.09

Ugly Beat Girl

Sloon

Sloon

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik,  this is prime Dirty Army material! Come on, Nik! This Jack B*uer/Jay Leno had sex with Tucker Max! I thought he had higher standards than that, really. Now comes the real question; Do you have higher standards that your good buddy Tucker Max does? Come on Nik, would you?

Answer: never. Her teeth are messed her lips are non existant, big nose, and her eyes are messed. Need I say more.-nik


Nik Richie

09.15.09

Is He Going To Hit That?

12-copy

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, do you think this dude is for real? He can’t be, I mean come on the girl actually thinks she is hott with him you can tell. Is he gonna hit that tonight?

He should hit that… that is probably the best he ever had.- nik


Nik Richie

09.10.09

Hottest UCF Girl

Hottest UCF girl

Hottest UCF girl

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, This girl to the left was known as the hottest girl at my high school and i still think she is hot. She goes to Central Florida now. What do you think of her?

I think she has horse teeth and there’s really nothing special about her, but what is special is how much her blonde cow of a friend is sweating.- nik


Nik Richie

09.09.09

Senion Pledge?

dsfafds

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, this one is sooo for the gays! This is Ben, who despite being a SENIOR in college, is a new Alpha Tau Omega PLEDGE (and he doesn’t even go to UCF, he goes to a community college). He thinks he is soo hott and will have sex with anyone and anything, he definitely has STDs. He is always getting into fights at local sh*thole bars (he calls it “roidrage”) and when he goes out to clubs he trys to act like hes a baller and knows everyone (when really he’s just broke). He is the biggest douchebags in Orlando and Boca Raton.

How can you be a Senior in Community College?- nik


Nik Richie

09.04.09

UCF’s New Dirty Freshman

3-copy2

The Dirty Army: Nik, this girl’s name is Molly C*stillo. She has been known to be a good girl, but the people that know her know she is a sl*t. She constantly teases guys, and has hooked up with guys who have girlfriends. She’s made her rounds in Jacksonville and Orange Park, Fl. now she is a freshman living in Orlando. She is constantly seen at parties and talking to guys, even though she has a boyfriend. She disappears for a few hours when she is out with friends and when asked where she has been she said she made a trip back to her place, which would usually be with a guy. She pulls off her innocent good girl image to people she doesn’t know but spend a few weeks in Orlando, and you’ll know that she gets around. guys are easily manipulated by her, and she has has mutiple sex partners. i wouldn’t be surprised if she had an disease.

Maybe she is a sex addict?  I say she is young and having fun… as long as there are Red Cups involved who cares.- nik


Nik Richie

08.14.09

Diamond Sister

999-copy

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, meet Anna, a USF Junior who take sorority issues as seriously as national security. She moved down to Tampa from Cochrane, WI (population <100) and is now ‘living the dream’ as an ADPi sorority sl*t. She lives for drinking, clubs, and guido boys. Her teeth are terrible for someone who’s dad is a dentist.. but I suppose she was a ‘9′ up north.  She used to be a normal Wisconsin girl but her daddy’s money and that Florida sunshine have made her unrecognizable. My biggest complaint, besides the snotty attitude, are her dark brown, penciled in, cholo eyebrows. Can someone let this b*tch know that she has like white hair?  ps. I am a huge fan.

She looks like an old women, between the white hair and overly bright make up. And her saggers look just like an 85 yr olds too.- nik


Nik Richie


 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 

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+2 Factor: when a chick gets a boob job it increases her value two points on a ten point scale

+2's: fake boobs

30k Milli: a guy who claims he make millions, but really only make around $30k a year and spends all his money on stuff he can't afford; a poser

6 head (5 head): when a person has a enormous forehead (measured in inches)

Affliction: a brand of clothing worn by losers

Afro-Brow: hairy eyebrows

Air biscuit: fart

Anti-petite: no way near small

Aquaf*gs: underwater f*gs

Babushka: a big giant, Harlem Globetrotter-like afro, that explodes out of the panties of a Crabby Patty when panty security has been breached

Beak: Nose like a large bird

Beat: disgustingly ugly

Bissues: b*tch with issues

Blanimal: A black animal

Blast (putting someone on blast): putting someone in the spotlight and/or exposing them; talking crap about someone

Bucket Seats: nice ass

Butterface: everything looks good, but her face

Cadirack: not easy on the eyes, an eye sore

Caker: chick who wears way too much makeup

Cannibal: a lesbian. Because they eat their own kind

Car-Tastrophe: beat looking people in a car

Ceptor head: looks good except her head

Cheesecake: real fruity guy

Chubble: problems fat people cause.

Combustible Cougar: horny for young men

Combustible face: Hazardous look

Cougar in Training (Baby Cougar): a girl who will grow up to be a Cougar because her mom is one and/or she is starting to look and act like one

Cougars: women who are 40 or older who try to be 20 (by getting plastic surgery, wearing tons of makeup, dressing like they are 20, etc) and usually date or "prey" on younger men

Cougar-Troll: an ugly cougar

Cougarville: place where cougars come from

Cougarwood: place where famous cougars go

Cougrrrr: Very ugly cougar

Count gutula: big stomach

Crabby Patty: p*ssy

Crash test dummy: a dumb friend that you can convince to do anything

Dale Boy (Dales): a guy who claims to be straight but acts like he's gay (or really is just gay)

D-Bagalicious: sensational D-bag

D-Bag: Douche bag; someone who sucks at life; a total jerk

Dirty Army: the group of people who are fans of thedirty.com

Dirty Bird: dirty/sl*tty British chick

Don: a young female gold digger looking for a new wealthy father or sugar daddy

Douchetard: douche + retard

Drag Hag: someone who hangs with drag queens

DSL's: D*ck sucking lips

Dugout Driller: aggressive gay guy

Egg Roll(s): fat Asians

F*gadocious: super gay

F*gtastic: overly gay

F*gtician: professional f*gs

Fake SGM: people who are not in the Scissor Gang Mafia but pretend to be by giving the scissor gang sign in pictures (and NIk will point out the reason why they are not cool enough to be in it)

Fanny Pack's : beat girls that have no appeal

Farm: a person's ass

Fattastrophe: group of very fat people

Fifty cake mistake: big girl who loves cake

Fifty Yarder: only looks good from fifty yards away

File You Away: putting a hot guy/girl (whatever works for ya) in your mental hard drive so you can masturbate to them later

Flesbian: Fake lesbian

Forgy: Short for, "For the gays"

Frat Rat: a girl who loves to hang out with and/or screw guys in fraternities

Freetard: a free retard

Front Grill: teeth

F*ck Trophy: baby/kid..."What bout that chick you met at the club the other night, did you hit that?" "Naw she's got a f*ck trophy."

Fugly: f*cking ugly

FUPA: a fat upper pu**y area. Men can have it too.

Gaysian: a gay Asian.

Gestappo's : those who oppose the dirty army

Gills: side fat; love-handles

Grave Diggaz: dirty nails

Grazer: chick that likes to eat a lot

Green Bay: cellulite; cottage cheese

Gregalicious: Owns a greg

Greg-Juice: self explanatory

Greg: penis; tummy stick

Helmet Special: retard

Himstitute: tranny prostitute

Hoemerican: an American hoe

Horses (or any reference to a horse, stable, the derby, races or horse names): people with huge teeth and gums that resemble those of a horse

Insurgents: non SGM perpetrator/ enemies of the army

Jack Bauer: a person with a large fore head or a twenty forehead

Jay Leno: got a big chin

Kodiak: body of a bear

Lee push up bra: from the makers of lee press on nails

Long Head Clan: horse division ( horse head)

Lotto Baby: unknown father (a lot-of people hit that)

MAC Forcefield: tons and tons of makeup that looks clown-like

Mad Monkey: extremely drunk & out of control

Mick Jagger's : Big lips

Muffin Top: when a person's side or stomach fat bubbles over their waistband because their pants are too tight, forming the shape of a muffin

Multichin: multiple chins

Multi-Gregging: Gang bang on one chick

Nominee: person with no money

Nomo's: a place where no homo's are welcome

Noodles: referring to Asian people or descent

Nostrildahmus: Huge nose pipes

Onion: nice a$$

Oscar Myer: Got a Greg

Pack of franks: fat rolls on a chicks body..."Damn! look at the pack of franks on that chic"

Paki house/hut: liquor store

Patch Adams: balding

Pearl catcher: chicks who get c*mmed on

Pebbles: an attractive, yet underage and overly sexual young girl. (aka jailbait)

Pepperidge Farm: way too old

PGM ("Pinky Gang Mafia"): the rival gang of SGM whose members show their pinky finger when having a picture taken

Pickle Smoocher: rubs the Greg

Pig Fishing: guys who are out to just f*ck anything

Pirate: gay dude. Because they like semen on their poop deck

Poon lagoon: pu**y

Prop 8: gay person who wants to get married

Prosthetic Playa: fake wanna be player

Puffydumbbell: roid user

Purple Crayon: A black man's Gregr

Raisinets: ugly nipples

Red Cup Nation: those of us who agree that only red plastic cups should be used at parties (because all other colors are stupid)

Refund Gap: the huge gap between some women's fake boobs that is so big that they should get their money back from their doctor

Ronald Mcdonalds: High arching eyebrows

RVM: red vest mafia: Valet attendant

Sevenhead: means "Yes I ride the Short Bus!"

Sewerfront: Waterfront in Scottsdale

SGM ("Scissor Gang Mafia"): people who make a scissor/backward peace sign when having their picture taken

She-Boys: Trannys

Shim: a girl who looks like a man

Shimspital: hospital for shims

Shman: female type of man

Shopping Bags: droopy boob job or +2'S

Shotgun: a slutty chick. One cock and she's ready to blow

Shougar: a girl that is a cougar and a shim

Skankaholic: addicted to or being a skank; likes skanky chicks; an alcoholic skank

Ski Jumper: big or long nose

Slant F*cker: guy who only likes f*ckin asian chicks

Slim Slow Diet: a fat person who feels it necessary to show people her body..."Sick, see that fat girl in the bikini? Oh, she is feeling good about herself since she just got on the Slim Slow Diet."

Sloon: a chick that looks like she's mixed with snake lizard and baboon

Slug: Ugly slut

Snicker Licker: White girls who only like black guys

Soldier: a member of the Dirty Army; a fan/supporter of thedirty.com

Sorostitute: a girl in a sorority that is easier than a prostitute

Sphere Job: a boob job

Spongebob: a nasty female that has a crabby patty instead of a vagina

A Stallone: a really ugly Italian chick (or any chick for that matter)

Stay Puff: juice-muscular guy obviously on roids

Stretch Armstrong: face lift too tight

Sugar butt: a gay guy

Summer Teeth: some are here, some are there

Superhighway Gap: boobs miles apart

Synchronized Sucking : what aqua f*gs do

Talons: ugly toes

Tenderfoot: gay or feminine

Thunderstorm: extremely large thighs; thunder thighs

Too Fat Shakur:2-pac fat reference

Top Romin : a person that is broke

Tranimal: animal tranny

Tranny: a girl with so much makeup caked on her face that she looks like a transvestite

Tri-Tip: she can try the tip

Troff Feeder: an obese female

Trout: an older man who dates younger women in trying to be younger or "swim upstream"

Trout Mouth: looks like a fish

Tuna Factory: chick who has nasty lookin p*ssy lips..."That chicks gotta tuna factory goin on down there."

Unbeweavable: lots of weave

WNBA: a tall female who is manly

Would You?: means "would you screw this chick?"