THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, I’m one of the guys that hits the “4am” crew up all the time but I usually do it around 5 or 6 am when I’m on a rally.  I’ll admit it, when I’m not drunk and hang out with them, I never would dare.  But once you get wasted, what matters doesnt even matter.  On nights when its looking like I’m going to have to call them, I usually store on chick from the club in the spank bank and then at 5 when I’m doing work wasted… I’m thinking about the hottie at the club… that my friend is a WIN/WIN situation.  You have no idea how many chicks I’ve banged that I really haven’t but I sure as hell think I have.

Are you the dude with the blue shorts on? Also, the term is called “File Away” not spank bank (that is not classy).- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I don’t blame these girls at all for thinking they are hot and the sh*t.  I blame all the desperate and drunk idiots that bang them.  I mean after 2am they are some of the most popular girls in Orlando and it is totally working out for them.  Its funny to see guys not want to talk to them at the bar, but soon as we leave, everyone is blowing them up lol.  Nik, can you really blame them?

Looks more like a 4AM crew to me.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I’ve seen this girl all over Orlando from alligator alley out in kissimmee to downtown cowboys and even UCF.  First off shes fat and her thighs are bigger then most men I know… she always has a cigarette in her hand is talks a lot of sh*t hello its not a good look.  Her and her girls are all plus size and shouldn’t wear the clothes they do… tell us what you think of her… her real name is Shannon Timme but she goes by Shannon Elizabeth probably because she is embrassed by her high school reputation still haunting her.

Some people just need to be medicated.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, haven’t submitted anyone before for a “Would you?” but after reading the latest post today about gingers I had to submit! We aren’t friends, but this girl went to my high school & is now a junior and KD at UCF. Meet Mary Mikkleson, probably the hottest ginger ever (& I’m a girl). Yes, her t*ts are real and she has a 5-head but I think she’s one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen, ginger or not! Would you?

Answer: No, who is her Blonde friend (the blonde is beat, but she still has a better shot if she applies makeup during penetration)?

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I know that this isn’t “dirt” or anything like that, but you give such amazing advice out I figured you could probably help me out.. I am 21 years old and have been dating a guy since I graduated high school. He is older than me. At the beginning it was great, he was helping me out financially while I went to school because I went away and didn’t have a job. We had a great time time together.  Well, after my first year of school, I decided to transfer to be closer to him and it would be cheaper in the long run. Anyways, I got a job when I moved back so I could buy a car and help contribute to our lives.. Well soon after I started working, I started paying absolutely all the bills, everything became in my name. When school started again, I cut down my hours a bit at work so I could focus on school and my education, since that is the most important thing to me right now, plus I take 16 credit hours a semester. He also stopped “going into work”; he convinced me he has a job and gets a pay check every 2 weeks or whatever, but I never see any of the money, even when we need it, such as my car getting reposed. He told me I needed to work more so that wouldn’t happen and that he wasn’t always going to bail me out in those situations. All he does is sit on his ass and play video games while I am at school or work, then gets mad at me if I am not making enough money to do everything that he wants to do. This has been going on for 2 and a half years.  We almost broke up a few weeks ago and I convinced him not to break up with me because I was basically too afraid of being alone and starting over. I have been thinking about it over the last weeks and have decided that this has to end, I can’t do it anymore. I should have someone who is helping me out in life, emotionally, financially, etc. right? Someone who doesn’t just sit on their ass while I bust mine with work and school, so I can have something better than this life. Or is that too much to ask? How do I start my life over? I have basically nothing right now and no one since I basically dropped everyone for this douche. I feel so stupid to even get myself in a situation like this.. Any advice is appreciated it. Thanks soooooo much.

You need to do what 80% of all females do… line up a new guy (cheat) for about 28 days until you can make the transfer. Find a new guy now to answer the loneliness. Don’t feel guilty, feel proud that you are creating a better situation for yourself.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this is my list of the hottest b*tches in O-town no particular order. I’m sure that theres more but these are just the girls I know:

1. Gabriella Katia works at Rok Room in downtown as a bar tender — even though shes not close to 21 and a part time model for what.. I’ve got no idea.. looks like she got some nice new +2′s in her newer pictures and shes dating that cocks*cker from real world Las Vegas Adam Royer.

2. Amanda Cerny when shes not sucking Dane Cooks greg shes playboys Miss October 2011, I thought her pictorial was going to be better instead she looks like she was rode hard and put away wet.  Still hot in my book though.  Her +2s were nice for about 2 months now they look kinda saggy.

3. Nayara Bandeira models and shes from Brazil.. what else do you need to know.. OHYA shes married.. who the f*ck gets married at 20. That’s like some mail away bride sh*t. She could use some +2s.

4. Aly Demayo works for a lawyer.  Part time model.. I think shes a little too goodie goodie for me but she does play XBOX.. she really should be in the kitchen where she belongs and she also has some nice fake tits.

5. Michelle Estrada works at hooters in Waterford.. even though she has no hooters but hey nothing a good push up bra cant fix.. or a tit job.

6. Brittney Palmer (far right) I don’t think this girl does anything worth while but look good.. she did gain some weight though I’m convinced shes just rides on the coat tails of her rich best friends.

I know a girl who is missing from this list. O-Town dominates when it comes to females.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik! Congrats on the gorgeous addition! Enjoy every second of her! Anyhow, I’ve been DA Strong for a while now. And it’s about time I solicit some advice. I’m 22 years old. I work almost 40 hours a week waiting tables, and I’m taking 5 classes at UCF (which are just about to end for this semester, thank god). I’m sick of how hard I have to work, when I really shouldn’t have to. I’m a solid 8.69798. I’ve got an awesome set of +2′s. But I’m really tired of seeing all of these girls going out and finding sugar daddies at the drop of a hat, and wasting their money on stupid things like over-priced purses and pepsi. I just want to find one to help me get through school so I don’t have to work. Unfortunately I rarely have the time to go out and give myself an opportunity to find one. So this is where you come in! Help me Nik! Where can I find him?! I want a sugar daddy so bad, I can almost taste it! Literally.

Easy. Email me your picture (nik@nikrichie.com) and I will privately place you on the payroll you are looking for.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, this is Katy Lynn from UCF. I think she’s so cute, and has a great body, especially with those store bought +2′s. She was one of the girls that worked at Dash (Kardashian store), and she looks great on the “Kourtney and Khloe take Miami”. What do you think?

I think she needs a philtrum reduction.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, these two gorillas are 2 of the 5 biggest man wh*res in Jacksonville.  Big f*ck list, Big EGO, little gregs.  I do not understand how that is possible when every girl talks about how small their gregs are.  Maybe its the roids?  Its obvious they are juicying, the gym doesnt make miracles and it sure as hell doesnt fux ugly.  No matter how many hours a day they spend pumping iron they will always be ugly and have small gregs.  It’s disgusting how many girls these two share from the ages of 18 all the way to 23.  Also guys really need to watch their girlfriends around these two cause they will steal your girl.

Have they slept with each other yet?- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Brita, she is a local bartender that spends her weekends stripping in South Florida. She thinks she is the hottest bikini model in Orlando but look at this.  I wanted to see if you could help her out with some knowledge.

I can’t even look… those faces shouldn’t be taking pictures like this.- nik