THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this leech jumps from sugar daddy to sugar daddy in south beach where she pretends to be living the life to everyone when really she is homeless and poor and on an escort service in Miami. She even has a porno produced and shot in New York where she travels back and forth. I made the mistake of letting this tramp stay with me but after really finding out who is wh*re was I sent her packing to the next home. She free loads of tourist and older business men who are in Miami on vacation, shes 29 and has no future other than bopping in the streets and moving on to the next city…..stay tuned this slut will be in a city near you.

Does she have a name?- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, HUGE fan of your site. You obviously have no shame in telling the truth and that’s what I need to hear. I was looking into getting my lips, nose, and boobs done. I would say my lips are average size, my nose is naturally close to perfection (just a slight bump that I want to get rid of), and my boobs aren’t small by any means. My boyfriend doesn’t condone the idea of me getting plastic surgery at all, but I want to be perfect, Nik! Which should I do first? (By the way, the picture I included isn’t of me).

I never thought the picture you included was you. This is your order: Nose, Boobs, Lipo then Lips.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, so the scientists at the University of St. Andrew’s School of Psychology declared this woman to be the most beautiful woman in the world after she won a natural beauty contest. Apparently her face is perfectly nearly perfectly proportional and the ratios between her eyes and nose and ears are all “scientifically ideal”. So of course I want to know, would you?

Answer: No, she has a cut on her lip. What do hairy old scientist know about beauty? They don’t study it like me on a daily basis… (Note to self: never send Press to St. Andrew’s). The only thing worth looking at on this girl are her eyes which aren’t even light enough to get me off.

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik! So I can’t believe nobody has posted this ridiculously gorgeous girl. Her name is Cary Poole and she’s originally from Altamonte Springs. We went to high school together. (the same school that chin-chilla went to; Lake Brantley breeds models, obviously). She lives in Miami now and is doing some serious modeling. Word is that she’s dating Miami Dolphins TE Anthony Fasano. Either way, just asking if you would?

Answer: No, the back fat and wart under her elbow bothers me.