THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I know that this isn’t “dirt” or anything like that, but you give such amazing advice out I figured you could probably help me out.. I am 21 years old and have been dating a guy since I graduated high school. He is older than me. At the beginning it was great, he was helping me out financially while I went to school because I went away and didn’t have a job. We had a great time time together.  Well, after my first year of school, I decided to transfer to be closer to him and it would be cheaper in the long run. Anyways, I got a job when I moved back so I could buy a car and help contribute to our lives.. Well soon after I started working, I started paying absolutely all the bills, everything became in my name. When school started again, I cut down my hours a bit at work so I could focus on school and my education, since that is the most important thing to me right now, plus I take 16 credit hours a semester. He also stopped “going into work”; he convinced me he has a job and gets a pay check every 2 weeks or whatever, but I never see any of the money, even when we need it, such as my car getting reposed. He told me I needed to work more so that wouldn’t happen and that he wasn’t always going to bail me out in those situations. All he does is sit on his ass and play video games while I am at school or work, then gets mad at me if I am not making enough money to do everything that he wants to do. This has been going on for 2 and a half years.  We almost broke up a few weeks ago and I convinced him not to break up with me because I was basically too afraid of being alone and starting over. I have been thinking about it over the last weeks and have decided that this has to end, I can’t do it anymore. I should have someone who is helping me out in life, emotionally, financially, etc. right? Someone who doesn’t just sit on their ass while I bust mine with work and school, so I can have something better than this life. Or is that too much to ask? How do I start my life over? I have basically nothing right now and no one since I basically dropped everyone for this douche. I feel so stupid to even get myself in a situation like this.. Any advice is appreciated it. Thanks soooooo much.

You need to do what 80% of all females do… line up a new guy (cheat) for about 28 days until you can make the transfer. Find a new guy now to answer the loneliness. Don’t feel guilty, feel proud that you are creating a better situation for yourself.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik! Congrats on the gorgeous addition! Enjoy every second of her! Anyhow, I’ve been DA Strong for a while now. And it’s about time I solicit some advice. I’m 22 years old. I work almost 40 hours a week waiting tables, and I’m taking 5 classes at UCF (which are just about to end for this semester, thank god). I’m sick of how hard I have to work, when I really shouldn’t have to. I’m a solid 8.69798. I’ve got an awesome set of +2′s. But I’m really tired of seeing all of these girls going out and finding sugar daddies at the drop of a hat, and wasting their money on stupid things like over-priced purses and pepsi. I just want to find one to help me get through school so I don’t have to work. Unfortunately I rarely have the time to go out and give myself an opportunity to find one. So this is where you come in! Help me Nik! Where can I find him?! I want a sugar daddy so bad, I can almost taste it! Literally.

Easy. Email me your picture ([email protected]) and I will privately place you on the payroll you are looking for.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, this is Katy Lynn from UCF. I think she’s so cute, and has a great body, especially with those store bought +2′s. She was one of the girls that worked at Dash (Kardashian store), and she looks great on the “Kourtney and Khloe take Miami”. What do you think?

I think she needs a philtrum reduction.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Brita, she is a local bartender that spends her weekends stripping in South Florida. She thinks she is the hottest bikini model in Orlando but look at this.  I wanted to see if you could help her out with some knowledge.

I can’t even look… those faces shouldn’t be taking pictures like this.- nik

(Click on Image to see her MuscleTech profile)

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, one of your favorites, Elaine Alden aka Chin-Chilla is doing big things now, she is a full time international model with spreads from fitness and automobile magazines. She even has a sponsorship from Muscletech and has reportedly signed with Elite Model Management. In addition, in what I personally consider her crowning achievement, she landed a national tv ad for an energy drink that even aired during the Roast of Charlie Sheen. With all that being said, now that shes achieved all of this success and status, would you now?

Answer: No, her looks and status are not where I want them to be yet. She is winning thanks to me, but she can do better!

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, here’s Michael Bay’s latest girlfriend (dreamkiller/prostitute) Lauren Stoner from Spin Crowd fame. I’ve known her since she went to UCF in Orlando and since she moved to south beach she has become one of the biggest “Event Coordinators” aka Escorts/Pepsi Heads there is. When you think of the epitome of a “Jetsetting”, Dreamilling, pepsi head, escort..Lauren has reached the apex. I doubt Michael knows that she’s traveled to Dubai, The caribbean, europe, and has hung out with princes and billionaires who more than likely paid her to get sh*t on. I think Michael is dirty army strong so he should be aware of what he is getting himself into. She claims she is 27..which is a lie..she is almost 31. Any advice to Mr. Bay on this one?

Mr. Bay is DA Strong and doesn’t care about her or any chick for that matter. They are just pieces of meat to him.- nik