THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, and ladies… Want a liar who hones in on you and dates multiple women at the same time? Look no further! Allow me to introduce you to Brian Hawes. Among his shining qualities, the following may appeal to your desires:
1.) He dated and married a super model and managed to cheat on her, the entire time with multiple women. Then says that she was evil- I am so sorry but if you cheated on me the entire time you are married to me, I may be a bitch too! Thanks for showing me pictures of the women you have bedded, awesome.
2.) He lies about the multiple properties he owns, apparently he rents them all out and lives in a small 1 bedroom rental in LP to save money. YEAH, ok.
3.) The company he works at pays him 650K a year, yeah- I have never heard of any sales position that pays 650K. I thought sales required you to sell things and receive commission, no?
4.) He doesn’t do relationships but will try with you. Same line he uses with every other girl but his girlfriend, he can somehow do relationships with her, but not you.
5.) He trolls every dating site known to man. From match to POF, he is out to find you.
6.) Introduces you to his friends but somehow you only ever met him out for drinks. ODD. He likes to show off his pretty women to his friends. Somehow every single interaction, he is wasted. His profile says no drugs but his coke dealers (yes, plural) will tell you otherwise.
7.) He is always gone and never capable of making any plans- because he has 5 other women he is meeting. Gotta keep the rotation going and fresh.
8.) It takes him a while before he is comfortable with you and he can c*m. To him, it is all about trust. Seems fragile and sweet right? Like 3-4 times of not being able to come to the ending? That only means he has other women that he is currently seeing.
9.) Mentions other women and how many other women he has slept with.
10.) Copies and pastes lyrics and links to songs he loves. Makes you think it id directed at you. Play on, playa!
11.) into mental games, him saying random things about other women to make you feel bad about yourself or just ignore you when you text him? This man really knows how to lie.
12.) Looking for fish lip kisses and darty tongues? Look no further!
13.) Loves to dance in bars, slow dances… That is how he gets you…
14.) There is always a line of I want to take you here… I want to show you my cabin in the wilderness, where we can get away…
15.) His mom is a doctor. His dad is a crazy millionaire business owner. LIES. His dad owned a small business, retired. His mom worked for his dad. They are pretty much broke.
Well ladies, there are just a few of the things that makes Brian Hawes the catch of the year. You should really call him immediately! This catch may be caught (or some venereal disease) before he gets to you.
I’m going with number 8 as my favorite.- nik