THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I present to you… Tamer Alwerfalli. Also known as the biggest nut rider in Dearborn. Tamer is the quintessential Dearborn douche whose ego is ten times the size of his actual penis. (Which from what I hear is extremely tiny) At the age of 40 Tamer is still single and thinks he’s ‘the man’ because he recently opened a dumpy bar in West Dearborn that caters to purple crayons. It’s actually quite hilarious to watch the way he walks around the place as if he’s God’s gift to earth and how seemingly cool he portrays himself to be with his midlife crisis Aston Martin parked outside. (Don’t worry ladies and gents I’ve only witnessed this firsthand because I was forced to go inside. Never would this visual have been taken place by choice!) What’s Tamers claim to fame? A shitty movie entitled Forbidden Fruits that he played in. Second claim to fame? An acquaintance to Eminem dated back to what feels like the 1800’s. Oh and let’s not forget how Tamer use to boast for years about how he bagged Miss USA circa 2010. (Nobody cares bud) Tamer Alwerfalli is the type who goes to great lengths to portray the image of being a ‘baller’ that he will actually buy a car that is completely out of his budget and costs three times more than the dump he lives in. Tamer is the type who will buy a fake watch but rag on someone in a fake pair of jeans. (Ass backwards) And last but not least Tamer is the type to date a whore who was featured on The Dirty. Two peas in a pod? (.. it’s time this dirt bag gets blasted.
How can you live in Detroit and wear a Laker jersey?- nik