Someone Save This Poor Child

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik I just heard about all these crazy Sarah Burge stories (the human barbie).  This old senile witch needs to be stopped.  She herself has undergone hundreds of surgeries to make herself look like a barbie (not that its working) and is now trying to force these procedures onto her 8 year old daughter, 8!!! She gave her a liposuction voucher last year for Chirstmas, breast implant voucher for her 7th birthday and who knows what else.  I get to angry reading about this horrible human being.  She says and I quote “I see these vouchers as investing in her future, like saving money for college”.  No b*tch it is nothing like saving for college, you dooming your child to wh*redom. She’s already taught her child how to pole dance.  Someone needs to take her child away! I first heard about Sarah when I read online that she paid $30, 000 for her daughter to be in Todlers and Tiara’s (a show which should not exist!!!!).  I get angry just thinking about this, it makes me want to scream.  Please do something about this, I’m at a lose at what to do.

Where’s all this money coming from? She can’t even afford a frame for her kid’s bed.- nik

She’s Serious, Just Like Her Weave

THE DIRTY ARMY: Greetings from across the pond nik.  Wanted to update everyone on Sarah B and her botched t*t fix that her sugar daddy paid for.  This cross eyed witch doesn’t know the meaning of self respect, she’ll be balls deep on guys nearing 60 on any given night.  She doesn’t seem to care what people think when she straps her legs around some old guy and make out with him.  Falling is another common habit of hers, literally and out of her top.  This broad needs to know that scars are not attractive and noone wants to see them.

I like her elbows.- nik

Would You With U.K.’s Most Delusional Woman

Would You With the U.K.'s Most Delushional Woman?

Would You With the U.K.'s Most Delushional Woman?

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, came across this woman who hates that she’s treated well because she’s beautiful. I personally think she needs a reality check. Gross teeth, desperately in need of a nose job, fat, saggy, and to top it all off, she’s old as f*ck. Says she’s 41 but looks 50 AT LEAST. I just have to ask, would you? Based on this bs column, she’ll probably thank you for a no. Click here to read full article.

Answer: No, I am still trying to figure out what is beautiful about her? Standard UK Geezer.

Lost All Respect

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik someone showed me a picture of prince Will and Harry naked this weekend, I couldn’t believe my eyes.  Not only that, I couldn’t believe the royal family would allow it, they are supposed to portray class and be an example for others.  Which is why I’m so offended by this pic, it makes us look like a bunch of wankas, like classless Americans (no offense).  They embarrassed the whole country slipping out of their clothes to try and impress some pre-teens who read cosmo magazine.

These are actually look-a-likes posing for the cover of Cosmo. Nice try though.- nik

Go Home Adele

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik you’re not the only one.  The Brits don’t like the fat opera singer either.  Adele flipped everyone the bird before she headed off stage.  Poor show Adele, poor show… couple things Adele, this happens to everyone, why did you need such a big speech after winning all those other awards, and what does proudlier mean??  Stop trying to hog the lime light fatty.

If Adele was skinny she wouldn’t be able to sing. I decided.- nik

America, F*ck Ya

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I take great pleasure in laugghing at other countries misfortunes.  Everyone makes us out (Yanks) to be worldwide villains, they laugh at us and mock us.  Partly cause of websites like this which you love to hate and hate to love.  So as I’m readin up on a few stories some Spaniards catch my eye, clicked the link and came up with the biggest pedophile ring in the world. 184 Pedo’s have been arrested thus far and only 5, FIVE, were Americans.  There was a whole website out of the Netherlands which was a forum for 70,000 pedo’s worldwide, mainly from Europe, Thialand and Austrilia.  It enabled pedo’s to openly discuss their desires for children, it only became illegal when these pedo’s started sharing informations (pictures, videos, you know pedo stuff).  The arrests included, teachers, police officers, scout leaders and a spaniard who abused hundreds of kids at the camp he worked at.  This just shows that we aren’t the only ones, there’s pedo’s and sluts all over the world.  We’re the only ones who air our dirty laundry, but I guarentee we’ll never have anything of this scale cause we stay on top of our sh*t and make an example of anyone who does something stupid.  Which means we’re better than America and suck it Europol!!

Americans still have better teeth than the British. Don’t worry we will make a come back in 20 years… just watch.- nik

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