I Wish I Did Not Go To Coachella

April 14, 2014 Scottsdale, The Dirty 333 97,844 Views

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I have the biggest crush on a co-worker of mine.  The girl is not only beautiful but she is so intelligent and such a good worker.  We always flirt but have not seen each other outside the work place, so last Thursday when she invited me to Coachella I had no choice but to say yes.  I hate the music and the drugs that comes with it, but I really wanted to bang her.  Anyway, we get there Thursday night and start camping out.  I didn’t want to make things awkward, so I told myself I would let her make the first move.  So we wake up Friday and literally she pops a molly into my mouth before I could even brush my teeth.  The whole day was spent watching small time groups that made some really sh*tty music, all in all, took 3 mollies, did 2 8 balls of some coke and who knows how much weed we smoked.  Still, she made no move but I did watch her make out with 4 random dudes throughout the day.  Saturday we wake up and the same old thing happens, drugs but this time the music was a lot better since all the big names were in.  Long story short we still don’t hook up, so Sunday I was so mollied up with about zero brain cells left during Calvin Harris here and I finally start going at it, we are making out and she starts sucking my Greg right in the middle of the crowd, we rush back to our tent and just start going at it. Followed by the nastiest smell ever 2 minutes later.  Both of us hadn’t showered in days so the smell was the worst thing ever, 10 minutes into it, we both had to stop and get out the tent because it smelt like deadfish mixed in with some Tapatio.  It was without a doubt the worst experience I have had, I can still smell it right now as I’m typing this.  I don’t get why people go to Coachella, it was the dumbest thing I have ever done, it was dirty and filled with nothing but f*cking losers with no life or future.

Did you know that Coachella has the highest rate of transexuals in attendance. Higher than any other festival on the planet. Intoxication levels are so enhanced in the desert that people have tent sex without checking body parts.- nik



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The Bundy Standoff Is Over

April 14, 2014 Las Vegas, The Dirty 90 102,210 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, the Bundy standoff in NV is officially over. The feds were approached by about 1000 armed protesters, many on horseback, and were told they would not back down, give the man his cows back. And wonder of wonders, they did just that. I, for one, am thrilled. This was a show of power by the government who tried to intimidate the “little guy” and force him off his land so they could use it for their own purposes. And the people stood up to them and were victorious.

They might of won the battle, but they didn’t win the war. The Feds don’t just fold…they never say die like Goonies.- nik

ALSO SEE:

Bundy Ranch Protesters Tasered By Federal Agents And Attacked By Dogs



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Angie Varone Is Miami’s Greatest Narcissist

April 14, 2014 Miami, The Dirty 118 99,490 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, meet Angie Varona – Miami’s biggest narcissist. This girl walks around town like her sh*t don’t stink and as though she is gods gift to men. Well known from her social media websites where she poses with her untoned booty and body wearing next to nothing to fish for compliments. This girl has screwed over a few of my boys and they end up paying for EVERYTHING she wants, while on her Twitter she claims to be taking the ‘hard road’ in life by going to college and working two minimum wage jobs acting as though she’s doing us a favor educating herself when she doesn’t have to (or so she says) – (I must be behind the times, but I thought going to college and working through was a common day occurrence that most people do with out complaining?). My advise to any men who get fooled by her innocent look – RUN, she is a psychopath and extremely clingly! Once you break up with her because you are sick of being disrespected and sick of the loose p*ssy she will blow up your phone telling you how she is SO much better than you and how so many people want her! Social media has got to this girls head!

Those thighs definitely rub together. Show us the rash.- nik

ALSO SEE:

Angie Varona Needs To Stop

Angie Varona Is The Most Vain Person I Have Ever Met



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Beyoncé Photoshops Like Kim Kardashian

April 14, 2014 Hollywood, The Dirty 6 95,985 Views

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Even Beyoncé uses Photoshop!! Click Here to see Beyoncé making a fake ITG!!



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Matteo Fiorilli Is A Cheating Lying Husband

April 14, 2014 Montreal, The Dirty 4 87,529 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, dirty restaurant owner, Matteo Fiorilli. Be careful to visit him. He does not care about you….only money. He wants to be rich. Nothing this man says is the truth. So much anger!  He just keeps on buying stuff to be a show off in expense of other people. The man can’t tell the truth no matter what. He will turn every story around on to you. Met him from POF.  Talked to each other for 6 months and he finally comes out and says hes married not only that but he has a child but then he is like “we dont need to know everything”. Like omg he just wants to get in not only that but hes a cheater with a child. The only time he cheats when his wife is at work supposedly she works during the day? idk but he is one f***king loser douchebag. WOMEN IF U SEE HIM RUN CAUSE HE IS A LYING. He says his wife doesnt play to his level and thats why he cheats. Umm get divorce but he cant cause of his child. thats all. He stole so much from me, knows how to manipulate and steal what you work hard to accomplish. Has no morals and doesn’t care who he hurts. Definately has a short man complex syndrome. Is he trying to compensate for what he does not have?

Sounds like you are still in love with him.- nik



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The Perfect Girl For You

April 14, 2014 Stockholm, The Dirty 94 101,267 Views

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, meet Anna from Stockholm. She’s a stunner. She also claims that she doesn’t smoke or drink at all. She’s thousands more prettier than the women at the states put together expect your wife. Always has been a fan of her from Sweden. But for the sakes of my curiosity if you’re single would you date her?

Answer: No, her nose is terrible.



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DC Going Hard

April 14, 2014 The Dirty, Washington DC 39 100,490 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, went out this weekend and met this super hot blonde.  Long story short, she decided to show us how much Patron she could drink… followed by showing us how quickly she can pass out.  By the time we were able to get this girl and her friend home, this is how she exited the cab… C’mon DC girls, stop acting so f*cking trashy and act like some adults.

She shouldn’t be wearing a bra with that dress.- nik



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Cynthia Rivera Has A Ton Of Class

April 14, 2014 Denver, The Dirty 27 99,788 Views

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this retarded girl likes to go around telling people she was adopted, that she raised herself on the streets of Philly, and that she’s just a sweetheart from Canada. The reality is, she goes around playing the violin for any swingin’ Greg that’ll listen, (which is nearly impossible being that she’s the most annoying girl on the planet) to get whatever she can out of them. Which is usually money, and oxy. She’s a notorious liar, homewrecker, borrower of money (which she never pays back of course), and an all around stupid bitch.  And as you can see, she keeps it real classy.

Why the forehead… there are so many other better body parts to use.- nik



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