What Do You Think About Swedish Mathilda Jansson


THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, I’m a straight female but Mathilda Jansson gives me a lady boner. She is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. Dates some NHL guy but I think he is way out punting his coverage. She is selling herself short in that relationship. Maybe it’s love idk. Legit model, for Elite in NYC. I had a feeling you might give her a 👍. She’s no Shayne, but she does have pretty agreeable armpits. Thoughts?

Mathilda has a very 30’s look. Her body is very square to me, but definitely a strong baby maker for mixed genetics.- nik

Nik Richie Is Right — Shame on Zhara Nilsson

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THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, if gentlemen actually absorb your wisdom I truly believe the world would be a better place. I’ve learned so much from you over the years. Check out this image, a prime example of Nik Richism 101. Tattoo sleeves on women are so unattractive. GROSSSSSSSS. (yes, the woman on the right is much better looking).

Correct. The female on the left ruins my life.- nik

We Aren’t Scared Of Miss Mafia


THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, this chick is saying that her family is The Mafia and she can have you killed even if you kind of didn’t do anything. She’s from Sweden and now lives in Italy (if she is telling the truth). Well, Miss Mafia, we ain’t scared of you. Bring it!

New York Bikini Model Sofia Hellqvist Now Princess After Marrying Swedish Prince


THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, what do you think of Sweden’s new princess? She was Miss Slitz 2004 and a glamour model/reality TV star/promo girl before she married the prince. Why would he want a thirty year old former soft porn star with tattoos and bad teeth? Must be true love I guess. His sister the Crown Princess Victoria married her personal trainer.

I think the Prince of Sweden just wanted Sofia’s eye balls in the genetics of the future royal babies.- nik

Denise Fagerberg Went Too Far

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THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, I thought Jessica Canizales boob was bad. This one (Denise Fagerberg) proudly states 1500 cc of silicone in her IG bio. Have you seen this monstrosity before? I can’t look at IG for more than a minute without coming across f*cked up plastic surgery. What’s worse: her boobs or lips?

Lips. According to JV — #JohnGray made the Shining get 1400 cc’s to stay in the relationship. I think anything over 650 cc’s is just dumb.- nik



The Swedish Ugly Duckling Denise Fagerberg Turned Herself Into A Silicone Swan


THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, looks like the Swedish ugly duckling has been hard at work turning herself into a sex object. She’s overinflated everything, pumped herself up to the point of absurdity. No one can take her seriously as a human being. She’s only 21 and already ruined herself. I find this whole phenomena of girls turning themselves into plastic bimbos amusing and like to watch these slow motion train wrecks. Let’s see where this one goes.

I’m trying to remember my life goals at 21. I think it was to hold hands with a girl while hiking in Sedona.- nik 

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