THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, I’m a huge fan of The Dirty and after I saw a post I couldn’t resist submitting this.  The pink bird that’s the Unicorn’s sidekick is a girl named Dakota.  I went to high school with her, and I f*cking hate this girl.  She’s a spoiled oil heiress brat, and she’s super sl*tty.  She’s from Dallas, but she goes to USC now.  I obviously don’t talk to this b*tch, but I know from her Facebook that she parties all the time, has gotten a boob job, and cheers at USC, all of which probably have made her even more of a b*tch.  I just thought I should let you know about her.  PS she is the pirate.

Her face is as wide as her stomach.- nik