THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, havent heard from your boy Nick Malibu since he got his ass kicked by a guy Pucker had web cam sex with.  Looks like some girl might have broke his heart because Nick Malibu sounds more and more like your super agent Ari Golden.  And Nik can you believe his smoke detector is still broken?  WTF fix that Nick Malibu.

Never fix the smoke detector NM, it is your signature celebrity “it factor” that sets you apart from your competition.  It reminds me of the huge mole above Cindy Crawford’s lip.- nik