THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I figured I’d give you an easy day at work to critique what may be one of Chicago’s “finest”: Carly. She moved to Chicago after leaving Central Michigan in hopes of being a small town girl that makes it big (at least in the Midwest). She’s a former stripper from Hustler Club. Her religious view is “Carlythology”, so I need not explain any further how full of herself she is. She frequently goes to the gym to meet bouncers and douches in an attempt to live vicariously through them as she’s a previous steroid user herself (probably has a Greg too) which resulted in a colectomy. She doesn’t look bad for being under 21… right?

I can tell Carl is trying to fight his way into this world. The male transformation must happen here. FREE CARL!- nik