THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, meet Berlin Scott, a playmate or something or other. I meet this chick at the Playboy Mansion. I knew going was a very bad idea. When did an overbite, bubba gump shrimp lips, saggy t*ts and a soft and saggy body become the new norm for Playboy?? That’s not sexy, her body was freaky and I know that her saggers are real, with a natural refund gap!!! Not too mention, she has a mouse like voice that giggles every freaking 15 seconds. Seriously, after speaking with her for less than 3 mins, I wanted to smash my head into the wall. I seriously want the few hours of my life that I wasted there BACK NOW!!!! What happened to Playboy? Nik, can’t you make a call to them or something, let them know how major they are failing?? DO SOMETHING, you have an obligation and duty to men everywhere!

I can’t breathe. I feel sick.- nik