THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik- I need the rundown of where to go for Memorial Day weekend in Vegas this year. My girlfriends and I are staying at the Cosmopolitan and getting a table there one night. The problem is, one of the girls is a Vegas newbie and will not stop emailing me these stupid links for Vegas deals. Every hour I get another link from her. She even is insisting on going to the Palms because she still thinks Playboy is relevant. We love her- she’s a calendar girl (so all bust and no brains) but she won’t listen to me when I tell her that is not the way to go. She is gonna need to hear it from you Nik. Please lay it out for her and help save my vacation!

Why don’t you just hang out with us on the grass at Wet Republic? Email (hot chicks only).- nik