World's Most Beautiful Woman

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, so the scientists at the University of St. Andrew’s School of Psychology declared this woman to be the most beautiful woman in the world after she won a natural beauty contest. Apparently her face is perfectly nearly perfectly proportional and the ratios between her eyes and nose and ears are all “scientifically ideal”. So of course I want to know, would you?

Answer: No, she has a cut on her lip. What do hairy old scientist know about beauty? They don’t study it like me on a daily basis… (Note to self: never send Press to St. Andrew’s). The only thing worth looking at on this girl are her eyes which aren’t even light enough to get me off.