THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I submitted my ultimate girl crush a few weeks ago and I was so disapointed you didn’t post it! You post girls who are way fatter and uglier than this girl all the time! I think her body is perfect and I am dying to know what you think. So, why didn’t you post her?

Because her face is too old for my website. I’m not trying to lure the older Trout demo. Tell this chick to quit with the selfies and stick to the photoshop airbrush. Her real rack looks younger than her face.- nik