THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, my buddy showed me these recent pictures of Kate Upton.  He is tried to convince me that she is pregnant.  I told him he was an idiot and to go on TheDirty.com.  Now he keeps texting me ‘Whale Wars’ every ten minutes.  HAHA what have I done??

I’m still waiting for Whale Wars to show me a modeling pose because everything I have seen so far smells like ocean blubber.- nik