DIRTY ARMY: Meet Travis Splitt, the biggest loser in this part of Ontario. Travis screws around on his fat cow of a girlfriend because he can’t get it up with her, but seems to get his semi-erect little d*ck hard for skinny girls who aren’t aware he has DRD’s and DRD’S. Travis is also on the down low, he’s a bi-sexual who hangs out at the local places to hook up for BJ’s, something else his overweight cow seems to avoid knowing. As long as there’s lots of Cheetos and Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, she doesn’t care. Steer clear of this bald loser because you will certainly get a social disease from him and his tiny penis.
–Travis try sticking Cheetos up there instead of a guitar. Then your girlfriend will get excited. You’ll get excited.