Robert Hayton — Narcissistic Psychopath
THE DIRTY ARMY: Hi Nik! My name is Robert Hayton, And I am a total fuking douche bag! You see Nik, I think I am gods gift to the world, and there is nothing better than me. Please allow me to explain. I am 5 feet tall, and 200 lbs of balding handsomeness. Oh, and don’t even get me started on this super hot peeling skin I have for a face. How could I get any better? I lie about everything in my life. I tell everyone that I am an OR nurse, and I make BUCKETS of money. But oh wait… It’s actually my sister who is the nurse. She’s the one in the family who has her sh1t together, not me. Did you also know I drive a super nice truck too? Too bad it’s invisible and only I can see it. I’m also an Alcoholic, but I guess that explains why I think I am so awesome! You should also see my criminal record. It’s amazing. I have 2 DUI’s, a WHOLE BUNCH of harassment charges, and even 2 restraining orders. One is even my EX FIANCE, who I tell everyone that she stalks me. I told you I was amazing!