Betsy Rubbins: A Rogue Floozy
THE DIRTY ARMY: Betsy Rubbins is a floozy that can often be seen strolling down Plank Road or Airline Highway in Baton Rouge who has been making quite a name for herself. Other than being your best chance at having sex without suave clothes or a good reputation, her name has also become synonymous with the rapid spread of drds in the Baton Rouge Metropolitan area. When she has the luxury of liesure time away from infesting mankind, she can most likely be found fiercely fighting as an activist for the advancement and popularity of competitive cum inhaling or indulging in any variation of vaginal stretching inside a shed somewhere. Her appartment, or self-proclaimed “Jizzneyland”, is rumored to be furnished by a single mattress on the floor covered with visqueen that she sprays off from time to time with a hose. It is also an almost city wide accepted fact that when her prepaid cell phone ran out of minutes about 5 months ago, she decided the arduous task of letting her chankles carry her over to the local Walmart to reload minutes was not worth having the phone. Realizing she then would not be able to text potential clients her address, she siezed the opportunity to creatively implement a new practice of directing clients to her home. The routine involves opening all the windows and front door, then simply lying on her back and opening her legs and letting the stench guide them in, which has also proven astoundingly more effective than Google Maps or Waze. If anyone is to stumble upon the realization that they have reached a shameful all time low and are in fact being lured in by the stench themselves, I can only pray that they still have the wherewithal to understand it is strongly recommended and their duty to their fellow men to at least take the procaution of jumping into a Hazmat suit before arrival. You have been warned!