THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, long time fan here and I’m reaching out for help to you and the dirty army (represent!). I dated this girl about a month (if that) and slept with her only twice before she moved back to TX. Today I get this picture. She says she’s pregnant and gonna demand child support. That doesn’t even look real! Wtf?! I mean she wasn’t that big when I knew her but it’s gotta be fake, right? I never saw a pregnant girl look like that! I think she sees my nice sneakers and stuff and thinks I’ll give her money for an abortion or one big payoff to leave me alone. What’s your thoughts, Nik?

Full scam. Looks like a thyroid issue.- nik