Roberta Kay Champion — Psycho drama mixed with a dash of WTH?!?!
THE DIRTY ARMY: We all have that one “friend” who’s all about herself, even though she comes across as a fun loving person and truly “cares about you”. Well, Roberta Kay Champion is NOT one of them. I’ve known this beeotch for a few about seven years, and I was shocked when she started telling me all this crap about her “friends”, and how she only talked with them because she was trying to sell them some artwork, or doing their hair, or wanting to screw them (guys). She talks all this mess about not fooling around with married men, because she’s a CHRISTIAN woman, but she’ll chew your ear off about the married guy she “loves with all her heart”, then, in the same breath, talk crap about him too. She reminds me of all those Southern Belles with names like Faith, Hope, Chastity, and Heaven. Funny how all those girls are the opposite of their names. Also reminds me of the original Footloose with Kevin Bacon. Just picture Lori Singer and how she went all out to go against her daddys teachings. She is one dumb broad. She’ll tell you, “oh, I just had to rescue the dogs from so and so, because they were gonna die if I didn’t”, but you’ll see her a few months down the road and those dogs aren’t there anymore because SHE can’t care for them anymore, then this broad will do it all over again. In the words of a friend, “it’s like she’s running a Puppy Mill”. If you can’t take care of an animal, then leave them the heck alone, but I suppose she’s attracted to her own kind (mangy mutts). I unfollowed her looong ago because she’s just a crazy psycho tramp. She talks all this religious crap, but is more like the cult leader, or simply recruiter, or one trying to “save you”, when she should just STFU and leave everyone alone. Some of her FB friends are my friends, but they’re all super religious and think she’s a sweetheart. Yeeeeeah right. Everything is a conspiracy with this card carrying 51/50 “blonde”. I can’t say if she’s a blonde since probably has no idea anymore. I bet the dye chemicals fried her brain, or whatever speck of tissue was between that cavernous head of hers! And the drama… O.M.G… The drama indeed. If there’s anything that she can post about that she can talk crap about, or to get sympathy for, you can bet your butt it’ll be her who posts it. Case in point, there’s a guy she told a bunch of us about, a guy we know wouldn’t do this, but she had it out for him because he rejected her, and she started telling lies of him raping her. No, I’m making light of rape, but for her to lie about it, that’s a whole level of dumb beeotch stupidity and cruelty. All she does is lie, lie, lie, and refused to go to the police or hospital, but had NO problems BS-ing the story to everyone so she could get a sympathy vote. What next..? Oh, her face. Her face may look small, but then you work your way down and see her “large” boobs. I can say they’re large since I’ve seen the pics (guys like boob pics, and keep them), but then you see her fat, huge, nine month pregnant looking stomach. Then you work your way down to her huge, and I mean HUUUUUUUUUUUGE A$$. Have you ever seen Robots with Robin Williams? Welp, she’s the big butt one that knocks everything over when she turns. After many hugs, I started wondering how many more inches were behind her before my fingers touched? Don’t get me wrong, I like thick women, but DAAAAAAAAM! Baby Got Back, then backed it up and took out the house…Twice! Roberta is so sweet to your face, but a fluking liar. If you tell her a secret, it’ll be all over town soon enough, and she loves to show off her chest. It’s probably the only somewhat decent thing on her. I’ve talked to guys who said she sent them chest pics on the second day they were talking! If you want easy, step right up. Can you say hussy and big time floozy? The best time to see her is in the dark, or with some serious beer goggles. Some of her “customers” I’ve seen at the local coffee house and post office, and the women all say the same thing, “gawd, she’s so full of herself, and she cusses all the time. I’d go somewhere else, but I bet she’d start spreading rumors about me too”. Yeah, BEEOTCH! And I’m sure she’s the reason the local cosmetic stores are doing so well. She’s a great artist, and I’m sure it’s the years of applying makeup which is why. If you don’t believe me, just check out the pictures, but even they don’t do justice to her face. I’ve seen her WITHOUT makeup a few times (a rarity), and I can positively, and honestly, tell you it’s like she stepped in front of a shotgun full of rock salt. Again, makeup saved her A&&. Just imagine all those viral videos of the Chinese women applying all that crap to their faces. She’s the American version of it. Oh, and don’t get me started on her hair. Again, just look at her hair. I could go on and on and on about this lying boob flashing, must wear a buttload of makeup to look halfway decent, psycho, liar, liar, liar, and adulterer, but I’ll stop. Don’t trust her at all. I’m so SOOO glad I unfriended her long ago. I wasn’t going to post anything, but I keep talking with people she was friends with, but they came around to know her for what she is, and I decided I’d had enough. If you’re reading this, little Ms. Goody Goody Roberta, I unfriended you way back in 2015. I’ve seen and talked with you a few times since then, but not any longer, not since you moved, and I’m so glad you did. Our neighborhood is better for it. You know, there once was a time, when I was single, and when I first met her, that I wondered what she’d be like, but then the truth came out, and I knew I’d need a 2×4 to keep from falling in. Then again, I probably couldn’t make it beyond the, OH FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD, WOMAN, I’M ONLY A PAIR OF PANTS, NOT A CARGO VESSEL, clothing and three layers of Spanx. Just do yourself a favor, run from this beeotch as fast as you can. Wait, you won’t need to run, her ass weighs her down too much. Just walk away, but do walk. You’re in for a world of psycho drama if you fall for her crap. ROBERTA KAY CHAMPION is a whole lotta Benita Butrell (check out In Living Color), mixed with a bit of Jack Nicholson The Shining. The pics are all with makeup, even the really bad close up, and that’s a difference of a year. The pic from afar is old, and her A$$ has near doubled. Yikes!