THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I’m from Scranton, PA and work in a coffee shop that gets MAJOR business when Abigail Ratchford (who you’ve dubbed The Office) comes into town as she’s our biggest celebrity and everyone comes out to see her here when she’s out and about town. She’s our biggest star. Word on the street is she might not be coming home for Christmas this year. I really hope she does as we could use the business… Abigail, come home, and don’t forget us now that you’re a big star. Scranton loves you!
Sorry Scranton- you are peasants now! Abi, don’t go home… it is beneath you!- nik