Emoji Movie Masturbator — Abraham Parnes

Emoji Movie Masturbator — Abraham Parnes

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, talk about some news to skeeve you out! I’m seeing a trending story from New Jersey this AM about a man named Abraham Parnes who decided to reportedly jerk off in a NJ movie theater during a showing of The Emoji Movie. The picture (above) has surfaced everywhere after he ended up turning himself into police. In the name of God, why didn’t this man just stay home and do this? Yuck.

My vote is for the death penalty.- nik


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  1. TwigFebruary 9, 2018 at 12:41 AM

    He looks like he’s done some wrangling

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