Worst Mormon on Earth — Audrey Caroline
THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this girl is such a rat, Audrey Caroline was late to work today because she was busy screwing around with a bunch of Mormon dudes. She’s known for sleeping around and disobeying the orders of Joseph Smith, we need to expose her and stop this mayhem.
I was so obsessed with this Mormon chick named Robyn in High School, but when I realized she had hairier arms than me, I never spoke to her again. I was in love with her for 3 solid years and it literally ended in 3 minutes once I pet her arms.- nik