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**Before you read this great letter, just know I have never met P-Nazi and he has never emailed me once!- nik**

Dear Nik,

Something has to be done. I was in Tucson visiting a friend and was out for a night on the town. As I stood in the long line to get in the bar I heard a loud group of people coming towards the front like they owned the joint. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw it was P-Nazi in the front of the group leading the charge. The last time I saw that many labels was in a grocery store. Everything from his belt to his shoes had some kind of logo on them. I can say with certainty that the P-Nazi is responsible for more sweat shop labor in the knock off designer industry then the rest of the United States combined. There must be a park in Taiwan named after him because he is single handedly fueling their economy. As he did his runway walk passed me I was almost knocked off my feet when the air hit my nostrils. The P-Nazi smelled like he just left a factory explosion at the Axe Body Spray plant. His hair looked like the offspring from a manage a trois with Donald Trump, a peacock, and a can of bleach. It seriously looked like he bought 5,000 Barbie dolls, pulled a Britney Spears on them, and wove together the hair into a weave to wear around. Apparently the P-Nazi believes his celebrity status (and I use that term looser than a vajayjay at the local strip bar) has reached statewide proportions. I told my friend to hold my spot because I wanted front row seats to see him try to pull something on the bouncer. I heard him turn to his friends and say “P has this under control boys, watch and learn.” I think everyone else had the same idea to hear what he was saying because the crowd silenced as if a curtain opened up at a KKK rally and Bob Marley and his reggae band were accidentally booked as the headliners. P said, “My friends and I will be entering now if you don’t know who I am you might want to ask some of the girls in line.” I guess they aren’t DS people because the last time I saw faces that confused was on Dateline NBC and Chris Hansen was asking them to have a seat in a chair. The bouncers said “well who are you bro?” P replied with a smile and said, “I am P-Nazi and I am famous from the website The Dirty.” For some reason at that moment the thought crossed my head of how long it would take MTV to do documentary called True Life: I’m an Internet Celebrity and that I would be seeing his face on TV. As I choked back the little bit of throw up I had in my mouth from that thought it was almost like Chris Rock, Dane Cook, and Dave Chappelle had just finished a stand up routine because the bouncers began roaring with laughter. They told him to go to the back of the line and that unless he was ready to give them $20 for each of his friends there was no way in hell he was cutting everyone. P then said to them, “dude it would be good for your bar if you let me in and I will make sure Nik Richie mentions the name of this place when he posts pictures of me here.” At that point if he was slick he might have been able to sneak in because the bouncers were literally almost rolling on the ground in laughter. P and his crew of Dbags stormed off into the night and that was the last seen of them. Nik what you have created here is similar to the story of Frankenstein. I imagine P-Nazi laying lifeless on a table while you in a doctor’s outfit are busily working on him. As a bolt of lightning hits P and he starts moving with his first action fixing his hair I can see you saying, He’s alive!..He’s Alive! You have created monsters and they are now roaming Scottsdale and other parts of the state. I love this site.

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