THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I’d like you to meet the queen of all stupid b*tches, Chelsea. And that is no exaggeration. Not only did she score a 14 on the ACT the first time, she has her own name tattooed on her hip. She changes her major as much as she changes her hair, which is also way too often. Whether it be color changes or the use of her brand new weave it seems as though she got a new pet for her head everyday. Did I forget to mention she admits to stuffing her bra? I hope the tissues don’t fall out the next time she throws her bra on stage at an All Time Low Concert. Oh wait, that’s almost as raunchy as the video footage of her sucking on a good ol’ fashioned d*ck. When I was sure she could lose no further dignity she went on to have sex with each member of a group of 4 guys in no more than 4 weeks. Guys beware, she lies about how many guys she slept with, I assure you it’s more than 2. The b*tch named her car sex on wheels for Christ’s sake.
Her heads shaped exactly like an inverted triangle.- nik