THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, a while back I sent in less than flattering photos of Jessica Green and you still said yes, thank god someone found that video to change your mind… granted I still think she’s hot, but hey! Us mortals can’t have the perfect woman like you Nik! Anyway, I think I miiight have found a replacement. I have no idea who she is, but my cousin just started partying with her recently. Some photos she looks hot in, others kinda make me concerned.

This chick is beat compared to Jessica Green. Someone please find us a beautiful girl. I can’t have another year of ugly submissions.- nik