Jarred: The Male Succubus

THE DIRTY ARMY: Meet Jarred Elberth, Big Pine’s leech that refuses to go away. His only claim to fame is the number of women he sucks the life out of. The dude has nothing to show for his 30 years on Earth except a POS Dodge Charger the Repo man has been on a goose hunt for. Actually, he does have something else, a twenty year old air mattress he sleeps on in his mommy’s living room. You can find him most nights at the local watering hole, Coconuts, where is most likely attempting to find his pill fix. Any money this junkie obtains, feeds his “Blues” habit and lube for his pocket pussy. He flaunts around new “girlfriends” as often as he looks himself in the mirror. We all know on BPK, he’ll screw anything with a wallet. If we could have our way, we would vote this male succubus off the island. Ladies BEWARE!

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