Oh no you better don't!!!

THE DIRTY ARMY: Well Nik, Krustacia J*mmings is on my last nerve. Every time shes at my pad she turns my bedroom into a gawd damn Logan’s Roadhouse with all the peanuts shes constantly shelling. Not to mention shes a door to door “spray tan artist”. Yes, she actually goes door to door with a spray tan machine in hopes to earn a little burger money. She can’t afford the actual tanner so she siphons motor oil from cars parked in her transsexual Aunt Raymond’s junkyard. Shes darker than the dirt she sleeps in, even the palms of her hands.

What is that thing.- nik