THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, first off this isn’t a picture of my wife and I.  But it is very similar, her and I were both so good looking when we graduated high school.  Now her and I have both gained a bunch of weight and you couldn’t recognize us from a few years ago.  Saw this picture all over FB this past week and totally made me depressed about my life and where it is.  Wanted to ask you what you think and how come this happens to most of us?

It’s because you can have sex for free. There is no cost for you to maintain a good body shape in your marriage, both of you can let yourselves go and still have sex twice a year. If you shift your diet and exercise she will get jealous and you will force her to lose weight… this will make her a skinny b*tch and will increase your sex life to 26 times a year.- nik