Where Are Nathalie Paris’ Parents


THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, this girl is sixteen years old and claims to be a youtube beauty guru. Why do sixteen year olds act like they’re 21 these days?  Click here to see one of her Instagram Videos!!!

If you click that link, you might go to jail. I’m just warning all the Subway Sandwich fans.- nik

NRP Episode 12  –  Charlie Sheen Exposed - Kacey Jordan Tells All

Just days after Charlie Sheen announced that he is HIV positive; pornstar Kacey Jordan shares her detailed sexual encounter with Charlie during his days of addiction and ‘Tiger Blood.’ Kacey explains why she chose to abort their possible unborn child.

The Hottest Porn Star — Carter Cruise


THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, who is the hottest porn star currently in the game to you? Mine is no doubt Carter Cruise. Her sexyness and talent are unmatched to me. Just look at her. No straight man alive would turn her down.

I have no idea. I don’t watch porn. It’s a dead medium.- nik

Lacey Kay Delp Review


THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, I booked Lacey Kay and she was worth every penny I spent. On time, very sexy, great at what she does, clean and very nice. I highly recommend her if you are in her area.

Is Kallie Apple Model Material


THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, my former high school classmate Kallie Apple who worked as an escort till she recently decided to try her hand in modeling is entering the Miss California Beauty Pageant. Is this girl the real deal or a delusional IG model in need of a reality check?

Delp Review — Stephanie Wilhelm


THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, I was referred to Stephanie Wilhelm by a co-worker at Hilton and Hyland, he referred to her as a bargain given that she only costs $300 an hour and offers discounts for Instagram comments and likes boy was he wrong. Our “date” was at Nobu Malibu and she showed up in a 2002 Beemer with 6 inch platform shoes on and was still under 5’2 (her and Shark Tales share the same taste in cars), she talked about how Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Cruz and Adrian Grenier are all obsessed with her and text her all the time (doubtful but ok), went into talking about how her family is one of the wealthiest in San Francisco and rents out more houses in that area then anyone else (I read forbes and fortune her dads never been mentioned), went on to talk about how much she hated the head of her Theta Sorority at LMU and how most her sorority sisters are huge sluts (pot calling the kettle black), then finally ended by talking about how she’s modeled for Wilhelmina and Ford and is a big deal in LA (I didn’t need to check those agency websites to know she was lying). She ate 2 pieces of sashimi the entire meal then went to the bathroom to purge and do blow (women walked out of the bathroom saying there was a small girl wearing platforms throwing up and doing lines). Afterwards I felt like leaving but I already paid so we went back to my hotel (she said her four roommates didn’t want her bringing clients back). I had 15 minutes of the worst sex I’ve ever had in my life (I’m 56 years old and have had a lot of sex), her chest was flat in need of +2’s, lips looked awful due to her getting injections and her ribs were all sticking out after she took off her clothes. Also, after she left I noticed a rolex is missing which is a big deal too given that Hilton and Hyland only gives their best listings to a few agents and I don’t make a lot of money. Buyers beware DON’T HIRE Stephanie Wilhelm!

Thank you for your Delp review.- nik

Happy Thanksgiving America

I wrote this long thing about being thankful for everything in your life and what not. Just scrapped it because I wasn’t being authentic. I was just saying the words everyone else says on Thanksgiving so that you could feel all warm inside. I’m not going to bullshit you today. If you are with family make sure you really embrace them and actually communicate. Put your f*cking phone down and look them in the eyes with sincerity for once in your life. I’m saying this because the times we live in are truly terrible. Don’t waste this opportunity today with ego. I’m going to shut up now. Be safe and Happy Thanksgiving.- nik

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