Why Is Taylor Swift So Awesome

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, you can tell Taylor Swift truly enjoys life.  She is beyond super famous and has never acted out like whack ass Miley Cyrus and Lindsey Lohan. Yet, she is way more successful and will have more money than those broke bitches ever will.

Is Hawaii Shannon A Lesbian


THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I met Shannon one night in Vegas and she blew me off. I tried giving her my number and she refused to take it. I know she is from Hawaii and most locals are gay. I’m assuming she is a lesbian. She is always going on vacations and rubbing up against this dark haired girl. I was wondering if anyone knows if they are dating? I’m a good looking guy and usually have no problem landing hispanic looking women. I drive a SL Mercedes and live in a 2 million dollar penthouse. What is the deal?

I think she is Hawaiian bro.- nik

Jelli Okamura: Wailuku, Hawaii


THE DIRTY ARMY: Jelli Okamura, or “Jelli Belly,” is the worst Hawaiian fatass of Maui. “She” went to Bob Miller Middle School in Henderson/Las Vegas, Nevada. Then, Baldwin High School in Wailuku, Hawaii on Maui. Sadly, this retarded Oriental has failed to grow up and continues to belittle people way above “her.” Really, why would a person like this think theyre superior to others when they can’t even take a single step without huffing and puffing? As far as gender, guy or girl? No one knows for sure! Those are some very masculine facial features, in my opinion. I can’t remember ever meeting someone so trashy, and her noodle smell makes me sick to my stomach. I don’t know how she lives with herself and sleeps at night. Furthermore, I’m not sure how she can manage to look in the mirror without crying hysterically because it looks like she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Hideous doesn’t even begin to describe her appearance since this bitch can’t survive without eating every second. If all of that wasn’t enough, she’s dumb beyond belief! You know that show, “A Thousand Ways to Die” that’s full of Darwin Award winners with no common sense? I strongly believe she’s stupid enough to make it on that show eventually due to her having no self-control with food at all. Fortunately, she would be doing society a huge favor in that case since she’s never contributed anything positive whatsoever. Would you bang this pathetic excuse for a human being, Nik?

I Just Don’t Get It




THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I saw this chick on Instagram and noticed she has a ton of followers, and literally thousands of guys commenting on how gorgeous she is. I like you am not a fan of tattoos or weird piercings, but even ignoring that (which is a little hard to do) I think this chick is cute, but by no means mind blowing. Not to mention what is she going to look like when she’s older. What’s your opinion? Am I missing something? Yes, the armpits are rusty and she needs to laser away the red rat on her side. Ugh!

I can’t tell which is worse, the sunflower or the diamond?- nik

Missing Pregnant Woman


THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, Just hoping you would spread the word about a friend of mine that is almost 6 months pregnant and missing. Charli Scott was last seen on Sunday Feb. 9th by her ex boyfriend and the father of her unborn son. Her ex claims he called Charli for help when he got his truck stuck in a remote location on the east side of Maui. He says she picked him up and drove him to his truck, it took him 10 minutes to fix it and they left the area Charli following behind. He then says he lost sight of her on the way back to Haiku but didn’t think anything of it. Charli has not been seen since. Her dog who was with her the night she picked him up was found many miles away in the opposite direction unharmed. The day after Charli was reported missing, her 4runner was found at a local surf spot known as Jaws, flipped on its side and burnt to a crisp. A couple days later her clothes, blanket and shoes were found near a bay located miles away from her truck and where her dog were found. Nothing new has come up since. Basically Nik this girl’s family could use any help they can get. The Maui Police Department is not the most reliable and hasn’t really done much so far. Charli’s ex hasn’t even been named a suspect and he failed the lie detector test they gave him! Many people have been taking their time, money, and gas to help look for Charli and any donations would be a great help.

I Don’t Get The Big Deal About Devin Brugman

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I don’t get all the hype on this site about Devin Brugman.  Yes, the girl has some of the best natural boobs you will ever see, but her face is like a 3.4144 in my book.  Which makes her a 6.2256 total.  I have met her many times and she is cool, but when she isn’t wearing those glasses, the only direction you really want to look is towards her boobs because you are so disappointed in her face.  Thoughts on this Dirty Army?

She is below normal looking to me. All real rack.- nik

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