I’m Having A Mid-Life Crisis At 27


THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, I love you! I’ve been following you for years. I love your brutal honesty. Which is why I come to you today. I’m 27 years old, love my man and my family on both sides. Anyways. I’m writing to you today because I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve been bouncing around job after job looking for my place for the last 2 yrs. Even the job I’m at now it’s such crap. (I’m a barista) How do I find my career or what I believe I’m good at to make a career. Everywhere I look people have a purpose and do what they love. I can’t seem to find it in me. Do you have pointers on what I should do? I can’t be 27 and not f*cking know myself. It’s so frustrating. Any help would be cool. Anyways you’re the best. Thank you!

You are not sleeping with the right people.- nik

My BFF Is A Lost Cause


THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, this girl right here was my “BFF” until she tried recruiting me to pay a guy she was giving money too. The guy she’s paying is her DEAD boyfriend best friend! Twisted I know! She really lost all respect for herself after losing her boyfriend. Who post pictures showing off everything to strangers after a sad lost? She claims how much she misses and loves her boyfriend yet she’s out here stripping and giving her money to a guy who is taking advantage of her. “If you knew better you would do better.” I just know her boyfriend is looking down on her shaking his head! I hope one day soon she’ll realize everything and do better for herself!

I’m confused. Who is she sleeping with? And what’s her full name?- nik

Luis the Creep


THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this is a warning for any female in the Portland metro area! Luis Trybom is the owner of Sprout factory in Portland an “inspiring place for inspiring people” BULLSHIT!. I went to sprout factory to do a photoshoot for a sports campaign, everything seemed fine and normal until he gets you alone! He is a sick manipulative creep and I’m not the only person this has happen to. He will try and make you do things you don’t want to do and tell you “this is what they all do”, “what happens at sprout factory stays at sprout factory”! I’m happy I was able to get out of there when I did! Before sprout factory it was I heart production, look his name up on Yelp and you’ll see that there are others, I’ve also spoken to other local models in the area and this has obviously happened way too many times!! It’s sick and sad and horrible what he has done! Please trust me, stay away from sprout factory!

Smokes weed while breast feeding


THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this dumb B is Emma Rose Sanchez She is a Portland transplant stripper, wannabe with horrible tattoos of a big fork& knife cause she is self proclaimed food porn chef her daughters silly name is after Kim k’s daughter, always posting pictures in her underwear for attention, pics of her breast feeding her daughter after she hits the weed, A husband who married her for a green card who thinks he’s some famous DJ because he lays house music in the many not happening bars around Portland. Emma Rose, AkA Adora Bella Aka Shawty supreme is ’bout it’ She’s about that life according to her. She’s a dumb stripper who works in the grossest titty bars, where girls are all mangled with tattooes, and way passed their prime, thinking they’re special, showing their crotch to dirty men for $50 a night listening to meth music from their parents time at nasty places like lucky devil lounge with the rest of the has been stripper alumni going no where. The one thing I can’t get over is the fact that she thinks it’s ok to smoke weed, eat pot treats, brag about how she sells crackers to weed shops and turn around and Breast feed her daughter. She has been smoking before, after and while pregnant and smokes and breast feeds. Her daughter always looks high. It’s super sad and pathetic that these people think it’s ok to feed their kids while smoking weed. Her daughter is way old for her to be breast feeding so what’s the excuse. STOP FEEDING your kid YOUR DUSTY WEED BREAST MILK. It’s gross and selfish. Her immature posting in weed socks and weed clothing and always showing off her sick dark lined stomach is enough to make anyone puke along with her husbands uncircumcised weenie. Yuk! Cheese Dick! You would think her husband Gregorio Sanchez AKA Benny Rox lol would put a stop to her drugging their kid. These guys and their silly stage names say it all. This girl is so thirsty for attention I don’t know how many pictures she post online in her underwear looking like a crack head from all the ecstasy she takes.

Beaver from Beaverton


THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, meet Amanda Hosier aka ” Mimi “. ! A 23 year old hella ratchet and dusty blonde from Beaverton, Oregon ( suburb just outside of Portland ) if you couldn’t already tell by her face she is a straight Tweaker\Junkie that you can find on myhotbook.com or the craigslist backpages . Unfortunately her parents and also whoever has had the misfortune of dating her are usually completely ignorant and blind to the scandalous things she does which usually consists of doing everything and anything to try and ” get well” << junkie term for when they get their fix. When I say she would do everything and anything to get her fix I mean everything besides work a real job of course since she has been unemployed literally her whole life and still lives at home leeching off of mommy and daddy ( she was shacked up in reno for a few years after high school but her ex kicked her to the curb when he found she was a hero**n addict ) who are constantly threatening to kick her out the house but we all know that will never happen because she’s spoiled. She has that certain kind of selfish self-entitled attitude that most yuppie white girls usually have.. She’s convinced herself that ” everyone is going to hell ” for judging her and that apparently her ” feelings ” are that highly valued by god despite the fact she’s a grown woman that sleeps in until about 3 to 4 in the afternoon everyday after a long night of smoking m**h and shooting up by day…. She has a morbidly obese sugar daddy from Eugene ,Oregon that sends her money ( in exchange for dirty pictures and occasionally ” hanging out with him at the mall ” ) and is totally clueless to the fact that she spends it on drugs and believes her that she’s using the money for things such as ” a cell phone bill” or ” to pay her car insurance”. HER PARENTS PAY HER CELL PHONE BILL AND SHE DOES NOT OWN A VEHICLE AND NEVER HAS. She plans on becoming a stripper in Portland to start supporting her habit since the suga daddy is starting to distance himself from her, so Nik my question to you is do you think she is going to be a good stripper !?!?

Is Jasmine Kela The Real Deal

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, my former high school classmate and escort Jasmine Kela is trying her hand at modeling. Is this girl the real deal or a delusional IG wannabe? I hope she makes it so she can dump her drug dealer boyfriend and can pay her bills without spreading her legs.

Her body is about as real as it gets. Thank you Portland.- nik

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