Richmond

My experience with Amanvir

My experience with Amanvir

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, God help me write this, but I think its time I let it out. This is my story about how a man who completely destroyed me within a matter of minutes, three times. 
At first I didnt know it was rape. After years of abuse I just thought it was normal and no one would talk about it. But surely it happens to everyone? Right? Clearly not.

I somehow convinced myself that it was my fault and that I asked for it. And that I was wearing the wrong clothes so it could have happened to anyone. That I’m clearly a slut because of this. That no man will ever love me because of what has happened. No one will accept me and my past. But no one should ever feel like that, as it is the hardest thing I have ever had to get out of. And I’m still trying.

I was 13 the first time. 15 the second time. And 17 the third time. And I remember every minute and every second of those days. And I dont think I could ever forget. It’s like it was a game, he would ask me questions and if I had answered wrong he would make it worse for me. It got to a point when I wouldn’t answer and would just let him do whatever he wanted. In that moment I gave up. I will always remember. I felt defeated, and broken. I had no power over him. Nothing I would do or say would stop what was happening. 
I remember him holding my wrists down forcing me not to move. And then asking me questions. Or holding my mouth shut, and then asking me the questions. Because he knew I couldn’t answer, and that was the worst part of the game. He was telling me ‘to look to the sky’ because apparently, it makes it easier. To this day still I cant look to the sky without thinking about what happened.

Continue Reading- WOW!- nik

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Aman Lalli of Richmond

Aman Lalli of Richmond

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, so, a little over 9 years ago was the day my life changed forever. I was out with some friends we got chatting to some guys at in the bar I went to get a round of drinks for my friends and one of the guys, Aman Lalli, followed me to the bar and we got chatting. I took the drinks over to my friends and continued chatting to this guy, I told him I had to go the bathroom and he put his hand out to hold my drink which I gave him. I went to the bathroom.

When I came back, I took back my drink and continued our conversation. Before too long, I started to feel really drunk, which I thought was odd as this was only my third drink. I then started to feel dizzy so thought I would just head home and call it a night. I said goodbye to this guy and told him I was heading home, as I was feeling unwell. I then went and got my stuff and said goodbye to my friends.

I made my way outside to get a taxi and go home. When I got outside, I started to feel really dizzy. I sat on one of the chairs outside the pub to steady myself and the guy from the bar appeared and said he would help me get a taxi. I don’t remember a great deal after that, but I remember being in the taxi and he was there and I just kept saying I want to go home.

Continue Reading– I have no words.- nik

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https://thedirty.com/?p=2213267