The Dirty Army: Nik, This is Nic Jones the conniving club promoter of Central Florida. Driven by money, fueled by power and drugs this kid will do ANYTHING for a dollar bill. He been known to carry tickets in his left hand and a knife in the right, because he's always ready to stab you in the back for some bread. He once made $3,000 in door money disappear like Houdini, then pointed his fat little fingers at his business partners, even went as far as blaming the General Manager, leading everyone on a rat-race. When shit goes south call him David Blame because that's all he does, he's quick to point his wiener schnitzel lickin' finger at everybody but NEVER himself. The one GOOD quality he possesses is the ability to tell you to your face the reason why he's fucking you. He does it so often it comes natural to him. Other than that he's as gluttonous as they come, if he had to sell his mother to the cartel for $150, a bottle of Disarrono, 2 grams of c'ke, a bag of shrooms, 10 sheets of acid, a zip of grass and an all-access pass, consider the deal done. But before you sign the contract read the fine print, because he always implements a back door deal. Nic originally started out in Ybor City in 2011, scalping tickets to events for cash. There isn't a ticket on this earth he won't sell or person on this earth he won't try to f'ck. As he rose through the ranks, he jumped from team to team, riding coat-tails with his spectacle frames, led gloves and his Deadmau5 hoodie, chewing his cheeks and geeked out of his mind, he'd glove at every event until he became the spectacle. He's been fired from 4 venues in Tampa, 1 venue in Orlando and 3 promotional companies until he finally formed Eyewitness Entertainment. He then began to manipulates his own promoters, having them drive from city to city selling tickets for $2 dollar rips while he pockets $3, all whilst sitting on his fatass playing World of Warcraft. He's nothing but a diet doctor pepper drinkin, unsweetened tea sippin, water with lemon squeezin, double fry eating motherf'ker, who can never stop shoving sh't in his mouth, all he eat's is Chick-Fil-A and Chili's. Still surprised that he hasn't eaten a promoter for their tickets yet. He's the only motherf'cker on earth that can blow 3 grams of c'ke and eat a big mac in the same sitting. Word of advice never trust a motherf'cker that drinks milk and eats burgers at the same damn time, because that's a motherfucker who don't care bout shit! This turd is a real jackass of all trades too, the one stop candy shop. Come get your tickets and come get your drugs from Big J. He got the c'ke, molly, weed, shrooms, bars, ac'd and event tickets. But beware ladies because he also has access to one drug that will make you pass out quicker than a whore in church, can you guess.....? At the club, you can find him in VIP, in a cheap ass suit, looking wrinkled as fuck, sweating so profusely he could fill up a kiddie pool. He is very generous though, he passes out key bumps, passes out molly, passes out E, and ladies when you're not looking he'll pass you a roofie. He preys on his female friends, winning them over with free event tickets until the time is right and then he'll try to get you drunk enough to pill cosby you. 80% of the female friends he has, he takes pictures with, then he tells his friends how he's boning them. The other 20% he's either eaten or hidden in his closet. If you know Jones you know he's real quick to lie on his dick, when really he's nothing more than a backpage bandit that probably jacks his dick and doesn't wash his hands before he fixes him a sandwich before bed! This guy can never get enough, he's has to screw every partner, manipulate every promoter and mouth-fuck every sandwich he comes across. Watch out because if you're not careful you might f'ck around and get Jones'd!